Kanye West went on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and debuted the new music video for his song “Bound 2.” As you do when you’re visiting a generally family-friendly talk show, he made sure the video had plenty of sexual lyrics and lots and lots of boobs. Okay, so the video doesn’t have that many boobs, but the boobs that are there are important enough to count as about twenty regular boobs, because they belong to a little lady called Kim Kardashian. You remember Kim Kardashian, right? Kanye’s betrothed, the mother of his child, yadda yadda yadda.
The video is pretty much entirely made up of Kanye on a motorcycle pretending to drive past green screen scenery of a desert landscape. How do I know he’s not really driving, besides the fact that it’s totally obvious? Because his girlfriend is totally blocking his view of the road with her impressive bosom. Kim’s boobies are generally covered by Kanye’s arm or a convenient shadow, but you do get to play a little bit of that fun “Was That a Nipple?” game that Miley Cyrus has popularized. Sadly, it wasn’t a nipple, but this is still kind of NSFW.
And that’s pretty much the whole thing, give or take a few close-ups of Kim fighting against a wind machine to get her squinty smolder to peek through her hair. Kim and Kanye do a whole lot of hugging and a little bit of awkward kissing, and at times I was a little worried we would see firsthand how baby Nori was made. I must say that Kanye seems a little disinterested in the fact that the love of his life is straddling him topless, but that’s kind of just his permanent expression, so it’s hard to tell how he really feels. Maybe if he’d somehow found a way to straddle himself topless, there would have been a better reaction.