Ariana Grande must really love bandwagons, because she sure has been jumping on a lot of them lately. It was only last week that we found out she’s a vegan, and now we’re hearing that she’s joined Kabbalah, too? Easy, tiger. Take it easy.
In case you don’t remember Kabbalah, it’s that thing where you wear a red string around your finger and go out to lunch with Madonna a few times and then you get to pretty much decide what rules you want to follow. I mean technically it’s an esoteric off-branch of Judaism whose definition varies ‘according to the tradition and aims of those following it’…which basically means it was the choose-your-own-religion of the 2000s. Throughout that decade, people like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Britney Spears floated in and out of Kabbalah at will — mostly out, in light of the mounting controversies and investigations for financial malfeasance by the IRS and FBI.
But welcome aboard, Ariana! The well has been dry for a couple years now, so let’s get some fresh blood ’round these parts! What does Kabbalah mean to you?
“It is the practice of being a good person and how that will manifest good things in your life. People don’t really realize that if you are kind you can make all sorts of things happen for you.”
Yes, you definitely need to be a part of a religion in order to be a good person. But tell me, why did you leave the Catholic faith?
“I was born Roman Catholic but I lost faith when the Pope decided to tell me everything I loved and believed in was wrong. [The church] said Spongebob Squarepants is gay and he’s a sinner and he should burn in hell. And Harry Potter was a sin. And working women. I was like ‘Enough! First the gays, then Spongebob and now Harry Potter? Get out my house!’ I was not having it. And the working woman thing? It was a moment for me. I needed something else to believe in.”
Preach, girl. You can insult the gays and Spongebob all you want, but the minute you take a tone with my dude Harry Potter, you can eff right off.
(Photo: Lia Toby / WENN.com)