• Sat, Nov 16 - 10:30 am ET

Alec Baldwin Gets Suspended For Two Weeks After His Latest Outburst, Just Like You Did Back In High School

Alec Baldwin New York March 2013

Notorious peacemaker Alec Baldwin has been suspended for two weeks by MSNBC, proving that even national news networks dole out the same kind of punishments my high school did.  I once had to sit in the in-school suspension office for an entire day because I was using the terlet girls’ lavatory when the fire drill went off, and therefore didn’t come outside fast enough.  The kids who received a full two weeks’ suspension were usually perpetrators of the worst kind: weed smokers.  OoooooOooh.  Alec’s show, Up Late, will not air for two consecutive Fridays. That’ll teach him!

Oh, and in case you thought Alec’s homophobic rant from Thursday was the last you’d hear from him for awhile (at least until something else set off his Pavlov’s dog-like anger trigger), you were wrong!  He decided to cause multiple spectacles yesterday for the benefit of the paparazzi he hates so much.  His wife, Hilaria Baldwin, even decided to conduct her own press conference to scold them for “coming too close” (totally valid) and nearly “knocking out her teeth” (totally ridiculous, but hey- she’s my age, we can be dramatic because we’re not thirty yet).  She lectured them by talking about what a “giving” man her husband is, and how he helps people get into the business by “giving them advice.”  What I find funny about that is that Alec goes on and on about how he fell for Hilaria because she was so far removed from Hollywood and uninterested in fame, blah blah blah, and yet now she’s a “correspondent” for the television tabloid Extra!  Great advice! For people who just want to be left alone, these two have a way of constantly staying on everyone’s radar.  His outbursts are so often and predictable you could create a drinking game from them.

While Alec has pissed off many, many people as of late, I have to admit I’m one of those people who has been known to cut him a break because he’s a handsome liberal whom I find incredibly talented and entertaining.  However, that leeway has recently worn very thin.  There are so many other derogatory remarks and curse words he could use to express his anger and frustration; “cocksucking fag” just makes him look ignorant and phony.  And maybe that’s because he is.  I just don’t know anymore, Alec. I think I’m on Team Anderson Cooper for this one:

(Photo: WENN)

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  • Misenhammer

    Two week high school suspension for weed in 2005, how did you know, is this sorcery, GET OUT OF MY HEAD

    But for real, Alec, stop breaking my heart! I just rewatched 30 Rock and it hurts to know I can’t fully love you and all your Jack Donagy-ness with this homophobia shit in the back of my mind. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU, ALEC.

    • Cassandra Hough

      I know exactly what you mean! Also yes, I moonlight in sorcery.

  • ALICE BERGERON

    HE IS A MAJOR DOUCHE. I THINK HE SUCKS IT TOO. TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

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  • MCR

    Nearly all celebrities are arseholes of one description or another. It handily draws attention from the fact that paparazzi are even bigger arseholes.