• Fri, Nov 15 - 8:58 am ET

Listening To Melissa McCarthy Talk About Boobs Is The Best Way To Start Your Day

Melissa McCarthy Conan November 2013

Melissa McCarthy went on Conan last night with her Mike & Molly co-star Billy Gardell. The very fact that Melissa McCarthy appears in this interview already makes it a pretty solid choice for morning viewing. But the fact that Melissa talks about boobs in it makes it approximately a million times better. It takes it from an A cup to a DDD cup. Maybe even an F. Because everyone knows that boobs make for one very funny conversation topic. They’re in a competition with farts to be officially named the funniest thing to talk about. Penises are in the running as well, but that’s a topic that requires a little more tact.

Melissa starts explaining how she tried stand-up out for a few months early in her career. Hearing celebrities talk about about getting their start in the business also happens to be one of my favorite things, along with farts and boobs (I’m an adult, I swear), so I loved her story before I even heard it. Melissa explains that apparently no matter where she performed, there would always be a guy there who demanded to see her boobs. It’s a sad reality that some men would rather see a lady’s boobs than hear her tell jokes, but hearing Melissa tell the story from her position as one of the funniest and most successful ladies in the universe makes it a cheerier tale.

And don’t you worry, this story has a happy ending. Turns out there’s a place you can perform stand-up comedy without any hecklers yelling at you about boobs. And that heavenly place is downtown where the gay men hang out, obviously. You can watch Melissa tell the story in her own hilarious way below. You don’t even have to show me your boobs. It’s right there for you to click on. Also don’t exchange glimpses of your boobs for YouTube videos. That’s not a good idea.

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  • Olivia Wilson

    Jon Hamm would be very upset with the world if penises became the new funny topic. He wouldn’t ever leave his penis lair.

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