When the news first came out that Chris Pratt used to be a stripper, I was personally delighted. I don’t know if you’ve been seeing these selfies that he’s been posting of himself all bulked up for a movie role, but damn girl. Damn. If you’re telling me he can dance on top of that, then I am officially a card-carrying member of the I Was Wrong About Andy Dwyer Club.
But if there was one thing I had a problem with, it’s that we didn’t have enough details about the situation. Chris Pratt, how are you gonna tell me that you used to be a stripper and then not give me all the juicy deets about it? I shouldn’t have worried, though, because interview-wizard Ellen DeGeneres was on the case. Just as soon as she heard about it, you know she called Chris Pratt up and was like, “Wanna come on my show and talk about getting naked for money? Sorry, that was a rhetorical question. When are you coming on my show and talking about getting naked for money? Sorry, rhetorical again. See you Friday. Bring a vest.”
I shan’t spoil it for you except to say that sadly this interview clip doesn’t contain even one solitary second of Chris actually gyrating those hips, but Ellen really gets to the bottom of it. She gets the who, the why, the where, the how, and the how much out of him, just as we knew she would. And fine, I’ll ruin one more thing for you — turns out if you have a time machine at the ready, it will only set you back $40 to see Chris awkwardly dance his way down to his sad shorts. (He couldn’t afford a cop costume so it was just his own clothes.)
Are we feeling sexy yet?