There are few things better/worse than the moment when a celebrity who isn’t really known for being a singer decides to release a single. As a shameless lover of mindless pop music and celebrities making fools of themselves, there’s nothing quite like the joy I feel when an actor or socialite or model releases a song. We’ve already given you a list of actual singers who shouldn’t sing live anymore. Now it’s time to look back at a few non-singers who thought they were singers.
As much as you might cover your ears and roll your eyes at all the auto-tuned ridiculousness contained in these videos, I’m willing to bet you’ve had at least one of them stuck in your head without minding at one point or another, and I also bet you’ve secretly danced along to one or two of them. You can admit it. And it’s totally okay if you go make a playlist of these ten songs right after reading this. Just keep your headphones in and no one will know.
1. Lindsay Lohan, “Rumors”
In 2004 Lindsay Lohan released an album called Speak, and it made the world a better place. “Rumors” is such a guilty pleasure of mine, and the video makes it ten times better. Artists don’t do enough dancing on rooftops these days.
2. Paris Hilton, “Stars Are Blind”
Paris just recently released a new terrible/wonderful single last month called “Good Time,” but the lady who made being famous for being famous… famous… is best known for this gem from 2006, which is really just another excuse for her to pose in a bikini.
3. Hilary Duff, “So Yesterday”
Our lovely Lizzie McGuire released her first album in 2003, and I distinctly remember telling all my middle school friends how much I hated it but secretly singing along to this song when it came on the radio. My secret’s out now, and I’m not ashamed.
4. Ashlee Simpson, “Pieces of Me”
Poor Ashley Simpson, always living in her sister Jessica’s shadow. After making appearances on TV shows like 7th Heaven and her sister’s show Newlyweds, Ashlee started putting out CDs, the first of which I admittedly bought and listened to A LOT. Then she went on SNL and was caught lip-syncing. She jigged her way right out of the spotlight. Well, almost.
5. Kim Zolciak, “Tardy For The Party”
The Real Housewives are known for releasing horribly autotuned disasters that they call music, and arguably no one is as good at that as Atlanta Housewive Kim Zolciak. This song became so popular it inspired the name of her reality show. It takes a highly skilled train wreck to accomplish something like that.