Man, if Alec Baldwin wasn’t here to tell me himself that he’s a really tolerant human being and an active supporter of the LGBTQ community, I’d think he was a total bigot. Normally the way it works is that if someone consistently throws out gay slurs in his daily life, I’d come to the conclusion that they’re an ignorant prick, but Alec says he’s not, so I have to reevaluate my whole way of thinking, I guess.
The notoriously calm, level-headed actor was captured on video early yesterday swearing at, threatening, and pursuing a paparazzo. Totally reasonable behavior so far, I know. There’s no way of knowing when your baby will start being able to intuit and internalize your behavior, so it’s important to be violent around her as early as possible so you don’t miss that impressionable window. Here’s the rant he allegedly goes into, as captured on video by TMZ:
“Get away from my wife and the baby with the camera. What fucking language you want that in? What language you want it in? Get away from my kid with the camera, you know what’s gonna happen to you, don’t you? C’mon! [Illegible]. Cock-sucking fag.”
Okay, I know what you’re thinking — another gay slur? Didn’t Alec already get in trouble earlier this year for calling a reporter a ‘toxic little queen’? Well yes, yes he did. But guys! He apologized for that! Anderson Cooper didn’t accept it, but that’s only because he doesn’t understand Alec! As long as you regret doing something — or at least getting caught — society is legally prohibited from holding it against you. Just ask Chris Brown!
So guys! As long as Alec Baldwin says he’s not an ignorant, homophobic asshole, then we know he’s not! No matter how much evidence there is to the contrary! You’d never catch any anti-gay hate-spewing coming out of my mouth, but that’s only because I don’t share Alec’s passion, okay?!?! Just take it from this non-apologetic Twitter rant!
He was saying FATHEAD, guys. Duh. When will you guys learn that words speak louder than actions?!
Wait. That doesn’t sound right. Oh well, I’ll figure it out later, you cross-pollinated lint-lickers. (JK I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE LAUNDRY BEES! DON’T FORGET TO SUPPORT MY NEXT PROJECT XOXO)
(Photo: Ivan Nikolov / WENN.com)