• Fri, Nov 15 - 1:50 pm ET

Thank Goodness We’re Still Aware That Only White People Can Be Sexiest Man Alive

Adam Levine in Pasadena California January 2013Even though People‘s coveted Sexiest Man Alive title isn’t announced until next week, it’s already been leaked that the coveted title is probably going to Adam Levine. Good old topical, relevant Adam Levine, who is thankfully the same ethnicity as twenty-six of the past twenty-seven Sexiest Man Alive winners.

This is such a relief, because for a long time, I was worried that People might accidentally chose someone with a non-white skin color for the front of their magazine. There are a great many extremely attractive members of minority groups out there, and I was just plain terrified that this might be the year we acknowledged that. But here’s the thing, guys! We’re set for a couple more years, because we already gave an African American man the title a whole one time! So stop being so ridiculous!

It was Denzel Washington and it was in 1996, which was only seventeen years ago, you numbskulls! We’re set for another ten or so before we have to pretend that there are people out in the world more attractive and alluring than Adam Levine, a man whose career achievements for these past twelve months include verbal sparring with Blake Shelton from a red leather throne, getting into an extremely passive aggressive Twitter feud with Lady Gaga, and getting engaged to Behahti Prinsloo. What a year. His band Maroon 5 hasn’t released an album since 2012, but his brief dalliances with models have been well publicized in the media, so I think we can all acknowledge he’s more than earned his prize!

And before I wrap up, I do of course have to give kudos to People for their extremely ground-breaking choice. For a while there, they were on a worrying streak of only honoring actors, and I’m glad they finally took a stand and ended it. For twenty-five years, John F. Kennedy, Jr. has been the only non-actor to ever win the title (in 1988), and frankly that’s a troubling rut to get into, and it’s just not acceptable. We live in a diverse world of actors and musicians and models and butchers and bakers and candlestick makers, and I’m damn tired of it being all actors all the time. Where’s your sense of integration? Of inclusion?

So thank you for your brave choice, People. We salute your dedication to diversity in selecting a white musician instead of a white actor.

(Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)

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  • Elle

    Seriously though. Wheres Idris Elba? Or Demian Bichir (but only Demian Bichir with facial hair. He weirdly did not look good in The Heat with no facial hair. The Bridge: sexy old man. The Heat: Not so much)

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Looking up Demian Bichir…
      …interesting. I think I’d have to see him in something to get it, but he has very kind eyes.

    • elle

      maybe I just have super weird taste in men idk..but like in the bridge he has had multiple affairs and I’m like yeah I get it….and weirdly I think he translates better on film then he does in pictures so yeah watch the bridge or see a better life

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Perhaps I shall do this.

    • D

      Elle is right on Demian Bichir with facial hair in the TV series The Bridge and the movies A Better Life or The Runway (he’s a pilot who crash-lands in Ireland – sweet movie).

    • Aziz Seid

      But Demian Bichir is full white. (not native) so it won’t fit your disgusting anti-racist American, save-the-world policies.

      Yes Mexicans do have white people, check the presidential family.

  • Alex Vockroth

    1. Adam Levine. Big bowl of ew.

    2. This can only mean they’ve not ever seen Idris Elba.

    • CMJ
    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Or maybe they’re really backed up and just getting to people who should’ve won in like…2001?

      So Idris will be in like 2025, if you’re cool to wait.

    • Aziz Seid

      Your small forehead and sloping nature of it = disgusting.

      The fact that that’s the best part of your skull supposedly, makes me want to see little of the rest.

    • Alex Vockroth

      o, hai, a troll. plz to block, crushable.

    • Aziz Seid

      I laughed when I saw your face. What a hypocrite. Your face is a big bowl of eww itself. Why do you have the confidence to talk about other people’s looks? Is it because he’s a celeb you think you can say what you want?

      Get a tan, you look like a goblin.

  • CMc

    Michael Ealy, Jason Momoa, Morris Chestnut, Ian Anthony Dale, Blair Underwood, Idris Elba, Adam Rodriguez, Daniel Sunjata, Shemar Moore, Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson, Sendil Ramamurthy, Daniel Dae Kim. All gorgeous (at least by my standards) non-white actors who are currently working in Hollywood. And this is just off the top of my head. I’m sure there are many others who I can’t remember. So ridiculous.

    • Char

      Jesse Williams. Jesse Williams is my addition to your list.

      Also, Taye Diggs who just reminded me how hot he was with his guest spot on last week’s New Girl.

    • CMc

      Jesse Williams. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him anything which is a situation I will need to remedy, like, right now. He is gorgeous. I always forget about Taye Diggs. He is beautiful too but for some reason he always strikes me as kind of goofy. I don’t know why.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Oh god Taye Diggs. Taye Diggs forever.

    • Char

      Jesse is currently on Grey’s Anatomy I think (which I have never watched but might start just to see him) and he was in “Cabin In The Woods” which was my introduction to his perfection. I can see how Taye Diggs comes off goofy sometimes, I think it’s how his face looks when he smiles or laughs and maybe some of his mannerisms, if that makes sense. But they had him playing a sexier role on New Girl so that definitely helped. haha

    • CMc

      I’m so behind on New Girl it’s not even funny. I’m going to have to catch up so I can appreciate a sexier Taye Diggs.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      No no, you’re confused. None of those are white people, ergo they are not attractive. Sorry for the confusion.

    • CMc

      Ha silly me. I don’t know what I was thinking!

    • FauxRealFaux

      Morris Chestnut is too gorgeous. Whew. So is that doggone Michael Ealy. Sigh.

    • Aziz Seid

      “Wah wah wah these people didn’t vote how I want them to.” Did you ever hear of democracy in fatty land? Did you know this was put to a public vote?

    • CMc

      Bored? Lol. From the content of your multiple comments I’m pretty sure the last person who should be commenting on class is you. But have fun.

    • Aziz Seid

      Good looking women don’t celeb obsess all day. Lol no wonder you don’t have a picture.

    • CMc

      Lol oooooo burn.

    • Aziz Seid

      You have a husband. Stop flicking your bean to Hollywood actors all day and get some respect for husband.

    • CMc

      Stalker? Is that you?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hey. Enough.

  • Guest
  • FauxRealFaux

    The folks at People have not seen this gorgeous Greys Anatomy doctor:

    • FauxRealFaux

      Lawd, thank you for designing this man!

    • Aziz Seid

      Every feature he has is Caucasian, even though he’s mixed.

  • anne

    good job people! LOVE Adam!!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Haha great!

    • janet

      Spoken like a true cracker bitch

    • Jack

      Shut up NIGGER

  • ThatDeborahGirl

    The sexiest man alive is Bill Moyers. Deal with it biatches ;)

  • Pingback: 19 People You Won’t Believe Have Never Been Sexiest Man Alive - Crushable

  • H2oly

    I can’t believe Mr. West didn’t win! I mean he is bigger then God!

  • Aziz Seid

    Disgusting racism from Americans as usual. Got to deal with the guilt of your ancestors lmao. Did you know you’re ugly? Like most Americans? Did you know you’re seen as pseudo-intellectual idiots when you come to Europe and you’re exceptionally easy? How does it feel to have absolutely nothing to cling to culture-wise? No family values whatsoever, nothing to chat about, since your ancestors killed off the native population? Just a bunch of mutts lmao. How does it feel to have the whole world hate you? No, but really the whole world hates you. South America, Central America, Mexico, Europe, the Middle-East, Russia, North Africa.

    How does that feel? You can’t go anywhere without being hated because of where you come from and this is the reason why. You lack originality. Your writing skills are terrible, I know that and English isn’t even my first language.

    The sooner your hateful kind is taken from the planet the better. And I hope you remember that. I’m not trolling, I would be glad that you no longer existed. Remember that when you’re fawning over the British Royals like you moral-crusading Americans do. Or when you’re listening to “Imagine” by John Lennon like the idealistic morons you are.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Thanks for reading!

    • Alex Vockroth

      this jerk trolled on half the comments on this page – does that not call for a ban?

    • Aziz Seid

      Tell me how I’m trolling? Because I said something you don’t like?

    • Aziz Seid

      Don’t ever come to Europe you racist tramp. And tell your friends to stop pretending they’re Canadian.

      Sad lonely pathetic American women who watch tv and celeb-obsess all day. Get a life.