The first trailer for Lifetime’s Flowers in the Attic is here and it looks just as ridiculous as I hoped it would. And amazing. I mean it stars Kiernan Shipka and it’s on Lifetime. How can it be anything but the best?
I remember finishing Flowers in the Attic way back in the ’90s and telling everyone it was the best book ever written. Which was a problem because I was in 5th grade and talking enthusiastically about a brother and sister who hook up over lunchables and fruit roll-ups wasn’t really considered appropriate. “Ugh,” I’d explain to them, “it isn’t gross that Chris and Cathy do it because they’re trapped in an attic. How else was Chris supposed to lose his virginity!? Wait? Yeah right, their mother and grandmother were poisoning them. Guys, you’ve got to get out more in the world so you understand how things work. Incest isn’t bad if you’re both into it!”
In retrospect, my thoughts on incest, family dynamics and how thing worked weren’t completely developed yet. Maybe I shouldn’t have talked as much about the book as I did. And yes, perhaps my obsession with young adult porn led to a few birthday party invites “getting lost in the mail” — but what’s a slumber party compared to spending my nights devouring everything V.C Andrews ever wrote. (Anyone else still having My Sweet Audrina nightmares???)
For those of you who didn’t go through puberty with this book, I’m sorry. It’s as near and dear to my heart as that American Girl Care and Keeping of You book. Maybe even more so because it introduced me to campy drama. First come Flowers in the Attic, then comes Lifetime movie marathons and then comes a lot of conversations where I act way too nonchalant about incest and murder and moments of truth.