I want Lorde and Taylor Swift to make headlines together forever and ever until the end of time, no matter whether they’re friends or enemies, because I get endless amusement out of putting their names together. They’re a walking Jeopardy! before and after clue. “A fancy department store that likes to write songs about its exes.” “What is Lord & Taylor Swift, Alex?” Sure, that extra e stops it from being a perfect pun, but I love it nonetheless. I also love theorizing about what happened between Lorde and Taylor on Monday at Shake Shack.
A bystander snapped a photo of the pair standing outside the fast food restaurant in New York City’s Madison Square Park on Monday afternoon, writing, “the bodyguard didn’t want to take photos but luckily my friend did.” The eyewitness also told E! News, “They seemed so close, like they were roommates or school mates,” adding that they “were giggling and talking to each other.” If these two were getting along, it might mean they’ve made up since Lorde commented that Taylor is a bad role model and we started an immediate slow clap in her honor.
I guess Taylor could always use another teenage BFF for her growing collection, and whether they really made up or not it seems orchestrated for PR. But but but let’s consider the details of this supposed peace treaty. First of all, there’s the chosen location. My fellow Crushable writers who live in New York City inform me that the line for Shake Shack is usually at least an hour long outdoors, and it’s been quite chilly recently. Waiting for cold French fries at a restaurant where you have to eat on a park bench sounds kind of like a deleted scene from Mean Girls, if you ask me. If they had shopped at Lord & Taylor, on the other hand, I would have died and gone to heaven.
There’s also the weird anecdote E!’s witness tells about what happened when it came time to pay.
“Taylor looked to the bodyguards for money, and then the bodyguards pointed at Lorde who started digging money out of her pockets and paid.”
Whaaaaat. Okay, I can clearly see in that photograph that Taylor is carrying a handbag. What’s in there? Voodoo dolls of her ex-boyfriends? She has to look to her bodyguards for cash and then she allows her 17-year-old, less famous companion to pick up the tab? Regardless of who invited whom, this seems a little rude. They could have at least gone halfsies. Sounds like there might be some frenemy behavior going down here.
But no matter what happened between Lorde and Taylor (still funny), one thing seems pretty certain from Twitter. These two shining stars used their fame to skip the long cold line that normal peasants have to wait on. Take a look at this Twitter exchange from people who claim to have also seen what went down.
@Dominicoo0 I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, but I’m highly disappointed in someone’s lack of line etiquette.
— CJ (@Yetti_) November 11, 2013
So whether Lorde and Taylor are friends or frenemies or in a new lesbian fakelationship, they clearly made a couple of new enemies in the process of their peace treaty. But those enemies are normals, so I guess it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.