Because New Year’s is creeping up on us crazy fast and Miley Cyrus still hasn’t finished checking everything off on her naked bucket list, we now have this new gem of a music video to enjoy. “Real and True” by Future features Mr Hudson — who I’m just going to guess is Kate Hudson’s long-lost schoolteacher cousin or something — and Miss Miley herself, who appears in the video naked except for some metallic body paint and a whole lot of glitter. It basically looks like she lost a bet and had to take off all her clothes and run through a Michael’s craft store after dark.
I guess the plot of the video is that Future and Mr Hudson are a couple of musical astronauts who discover Miley Cyrus lying unconscious in a space suit on the moon. They then revive her and proceed to sing with her for a while. If Future is really living up to his name, I assume this video tells the story of what will eventually happen to Miley when everybody has officially had enough of her shenanigans and we literally kick her out of earthy society for good. Just send her into outer space for the aliens to deal with.
What ensues is the kind of is-she-or-isn’t-she nudity that prompts a fun game that I like to call “Was That a Nipple?” If you enjoy that game as much as I do, then boy oh boy is this the music video for you. There are enough shadowy long shots of Miley’s silvery boobs that you could print them out onto flash cards and create your own portable “Was That a Nipple?” board game and quiz your friends with it during boring parties.
So what are you waiting for? Go forth and enjoy the nakedness. If the number of times I’ve used the word “naked” in this post wasn’t enough of a hint, this video is pretty NSFW. Even if your game of “Was That a Nipple?” leads you to decide that no, that was not a nipple, your boss might disagree. “Was That a Nipple?” is a very subjective game.