• Tue, Nov 12 - 1:02 pm ET

Kelly Clarkson Wants You To Know She’s Either Pregnant Or Having Sex This Very Second

Kelly Clarkson receiving an award at the CMAs November 2013If you remember one thing from Kelly Clarkson‘s appearance on Jay Leno last night, let it be the fact that she wants a baby. Like soon. Like yesterday. Like so much that she might currently have one stewing in her belly and she’s already ready for another one.

Honestly, never have I ever encountered someone who is more eager to harbor a tiny life inside her than Kelly is. It’s to the point that I’m worried she’s going to start swallowing watermelon seeds and onesies in the hope that your uterus will intervene and cobble an infant together. Kelly and her husband Brendan Blackstock like just got married, and they’re already craving that sweet sweet baby flesh:

“[We want a baby] like now! Practice makes perfect! We do, we do. We’re trying, trying, trying.”

My god. Right out of the gate, she’s exhibiting three major signs of an excited future parent — repetition, rapid breathing, and slam poetry. She also helps us learn that Jay Leno has kind of a complex about missing out on newsy scoops to Ellen DeGeneres, because he says:

“Are you pregnant now? I always get these stars who come on and go, ‘I’m thinking about having a baby,’ and then the next week they go on Ellen and announce it there. So I’m asking you: Are you pregnant? Remember — you’re under oath!”

I’m sorry Jay, have you been swearing people in on your program? Are you that insecure about Ellen getting the ‘I’m pregnant’ interview before you do that you’re having people put their hand on a Bible before the cameras start running? And can we also note that Kelly doesn’t actually deny that she might be pregnant and planning to go tell Ellen about it, saying:

“We are not announcing anything right now!”

Ice cold, Kelly Clarkson. You are ice cold. She does take a moment to remind us again that she and Brandon have a singleminded focus on having a kid, and that they’re doing it ‘like rabbits!’ Just in case you were wondering whether these two were having sex right at this exact moment — they are.

(Image: Judy Eddy / WENN.com)

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