Lady Gaga had the release party for her album ARTPOP yesterday, and instead of just serving some pigs in blankets and plugging in the karaoke machine like a normal party host, Gaga had to go all out and debut a flying dress. That’s right. A flying dress. Gaga, who plans to perform in space in 2015, even gave the dress a name — Volantis. And you know what they say about flying dresses. Once you name them, you won’t be able to say goodbye to them when they turn out to be kind of lame.
While I was sort of hoping the dress would be made of feathers or dragonfly wings or something, it turned out to just be some sort of battery-powered coat rack with a bunch of lampshades attached to the top (these are my non-technical terms, mind you). Gaga strapped herself to the front of it and tested it out inside a building in the Brooklyn Navy Yard, and the result, based on the below Instagram video, was sort of like watching Bruce Jenner fly his toy helicopters around the backyard, except at no point did Kris Jenner come running out to scold him. It did not end up flying Gaga back to her home planet, as I’m sure she’d initially intended, but it looks like it did skate a foot or two above the floor for a few seconds.
Gaga apparently said later that the dress was “maybe a small step for Volantis,” but it was a “big-time step” for Lady Gaga. It’s also a big-time step for people who are into wearing enormous hovercraft-type vehicles as dresses. Call me nit-picky, but if celebrities end up wearing these contraptions to events in the future, we’re not going to be able to fit as many people on the red carpets. Angelina Jolie’s Volantis will bump into Jennifer Aniston’s Volantis (maybe intentionally) and then Beyonce’s Volantis will take off at full-speed and knock over fifteen publicists.
Then again, maybe the joke’s on us and in a few years I’ll be blogging from twenty feet off the ground in my very own coat-rack-lampshade contraption. We live in a world where people confuse vaginas and butts, so anything is possible.
(Photo: Darla Khazei, PacificCoastNews)