• Sun, Nov 10 - 10:18 am ET

The 12 Dumbest Things TV Execs Have Said, According To This Amazing Twitter Account

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As a writer of sorts, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a part of the creative team behind a television show.  After all, this is the “golden age of television” –  according to every single person who attended the Emmys this year, so one would assume that creative genius would be flowing like Fiji water when one thinks of the production of all television shows that aren’t reality-based.  Not so fast, according to @NetworkNotes, the latest amazing Twitter account.  This account has been posting for awhile, but has just now gotten some real momentum.

@TvNetworkNotes, which has apparently been verified as legit, collects comments and notes made by TV execs behind several television networks.  By keeping these comments anonymous enough, we’re left to enjoy the laughably idiotic thoughts conceived by television execs who probably make more money per year than the last three Powerball winners combined.

Okay, I haven’t ever actually watched the Spike network… but now I think I absolutely must.  

If you are someone who lists “expert casting lesbians in the perfect glow” under “skills” on your resume, I need to meet you immediately.

The notes from the Lifetime network are undoubtedly my favorite.

Hyperbole?  On TruTV?  Nahhhhhh.

I know what they’re talking about here happened a long time ago, but I know I’ll never forget watching this clip on The Soup because it’s forever burned in my memory.

What is so utterly sad about this statement is that it’s truthful.

Because when I think of the Oxygen network, the bloody, gory gunshot scenes set to classic rock music immediately come to mind.

This could reference pretty much anything on the E! network, from Keeping Up With The Kardashians to their painfully awkward red carpet hosts.  Your guess is as good as mine.

I sincerely hope I don’t have to point out what’s wrong with this sentence.  Do I?  Do I?!

I love this one, because I actually respect the E! network’s self-awareness here.  They really know their audience – the people who aren’t really watching or focusing on their programs in any way because they’re looking for background noise while the fold laundry.  Perfect.

National Geographic, the co-sponsors of Broadway’s latest revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oh boy.  Yeah, that’s it, ABC.  Good boy.  *pats head*

Hahahahaha.  Yeah, I can totally see how the people who avidly watch Teen Mom and Snooki walking around in slippers would take Kim Kardashian seriously.  The last thing you’d want to do is insult your audience, MTV!

In all seriousness, I hope this Twitter account sticks around for awhile and gains more followers.  I’m just dying to know what Jon Hamm‘s penis has to say about the way things work on the set of Mad Men.  

(Photo: Tumblr)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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  • http://fairlyoddmedia.com/ Frances Locke

    The one from E! about having to “say it” actually makes me like them a little more. They know what they are.

  • CrazyLogic

    …I actually know what show and what episode that Spike one if from. It was called 1,000 ways to die and this guy high on mushrooms stumbled across a fury orgy in the desert near Vegas. He tried to join in on, got rejected…and mistook a real bear for someone in a costume.