I have a lot of emotions bubbling around inside of me after having seen Thor: The Dark World, none of which are because the movie is some masterpiece or something. The second Thor installment, which stars
Adonis Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Natalie Portman, and Kat Dennings, is decent, at best. It’s got a sufficient amount of the things you would watch an action movie for —the explosions, cool flying scenes, and last-act-adrenaline— but I can’t say that the movie, itself, ever really wowed me. I can’t commend the writing or even the acting very much because, while it isn’t exactly subpar, it all hovers right around par. My happy feelings are actually due to the incredible performance by Tom as Thor’s brother and greatest enemy, Loki.
So incredible, in fact, that I’m positive that I’d pick Loki over Thor if I ever had to make that choice. You know, like if one day I were only allowed one Marvel character on my birthday cake, or if some tattoo artist were rushing me to choose which citizen of Asgard I wanted for my forehead tattoo. (One of those situations will happen sooner than later, probably.) But, believe me, I know that this is a very controversial topic in today’s society. And, since I don’t want to incite any riots or uprisings, I’ve prepared a very thorough list of the 13 reasons why any sane person would choose Loki over Thor.
(P.S.- There will be spoilers, okay? SPOILERS. I am about to spoil some things. That is all.)
1. He has actual emotions.
Thor Bore’s emotional canon is pretty much restricted to anger, jealousy, and must-protect-woman-I-love. Loki, however, made me empathize with him throughout his range of emotions.
2. He is the stronger of the two.
Thor may overcompensate with a giant fancy hammer, but Loki uses his mind (and sometimes a dagger) to get what he wants. And you know what they say, the mind is mightier than the brute with the hammer. I think that’s what they say. Someone says that.
3. He is selfless.
At the very end of the movie, Thor declines his father, Odin’s, offer for him to take over the throne. Except, wait, that isn’t Odin, is it? No no, it’s actually Loki shapeshifting into the King’s likeness and willing to give away the throne that he, himself, desperately wants. Surprising.
4. He looks like Tom Hiddleston.
Crazy, I know, but it turns out that when a character is played by an actor, they usually resemble said actor. And, if anyone’s going to look like anyone else, everyone should pick to look like Tom Hiddleston.
5. He tries his best to keep it together.
After their mother is murdered, Loki is absolutely devastated, but uses his sorcery abilities to look as composed as he can. It isn’t necessarily expected of him, but it’s nice to know that he realizes how important it is for the Prince of Asgard to not show how actually panicked and distraught he is.
6. He is loyal.
Even after being thrown into jail, Loki still agrees to help Thor save the day. And, although none of the other characters have faith in his trustworthiness, Loki proves them all wrong by never betraying Thor.
7. He is great with children.
8. He is hilarious.
Talk about comedic relief. I actually feel comfortable in saying that every single time that I laughed while watching this movie was because of a Loki line.
9. He is the underdog.
Thor’s report cards were clearly always put above Loki’s on the family fridge all of their lives. I’m not saying it’s cool to devote your entire life and existence to trying to destroy your arrogant brother, but I’m just saying that I get why he did that.
10. He is a hero.
It happens very quickly, but during the epic battle between the Dark Elves, Malekith, Thor, and Loki, Jane Foster is about to be killed and Loki pushes her out of the way and jumps in the line of danger. We later learn that he doesn’t actually die, but the point is that he could have.
11. He is now a king.
Um, hello future life of being a Queen. The movie ends with Loki receiving the throne after his brother turns it down. Now all he needs is a Queen and I think I know just the girl. (It’s me; I am the girl.)
12. He is sensitive.
He just really loves his mom and stuff. So cute, stop it.
13. He is dependable.
Let’s all shoot Loki a thank-you email for helping Thor defeat Malekith and the rest of the Dark Elves. Thor couldn’t have done it without him.
Loki’s just misunderstood, you guys. That’s all.