When I think about the qualities I want in a boyfriend, the first three things that come to my mind are selfish, heinious, dickhead. Okay, that’s not completely true. Sometimes I change out dickhead with douchenozzle. Selena Gomez, however, wants to meet the exact opposite. Which is good, I’m so sick of competing with celebrities for men. You have no idea how bad I felt for Jessica Simpson when I stole John Mayer away from her. “That’s my greasy fedora,” she yelled as I hoisted him over my shoulder and ran off into the sunset.
According to Hollywood Life who transcribed an interview Selens did with KIIS FM, she said the following about her manhunt. And I do mean MANhunt. No more shirtless monkey-abandoning boys for this girl.
As for what she looks for in a guy, Selena would love someone who is classy and respectful, with a good sense of humor. Good manners are very important to Selena, who says she’s “such an old-fashioned Southern belle.”
Classy? Respectful? Funny? Spend ten minutes on OkCupid and you’ll find guys with all three of those qualities and more. And by more, I do mean the ability to take low-lit bathroom selfies. That’s an extremely underrated skill that you don’t come to appreciate until you in your mid-twenties. Not every guy can throw off that To Catch a Predator vibe with one photo.
But seriously Selena, you’ll do much better in the dating world if you forget the whole “classy” and “respectful” thing and just aim for someone who spells out “you” in text messages and/or gives you access to his HBO GO account. It’s the small things that matter.