Hark, mortals, behold! When last we saw Jon Hamm‘s penis, it was forsworn that it would return again, arisen and more powerful as ever. And because of your prayers and the faith you poured toward the monumental task of resurrecting this mighty peen, everything has gone as it was foretold, sing praise, hallelu.
Yes that’s right everyone, it’s time to dedicate another news cycle to Jon Hamm’s penis, because it’s back in action and showing up through his pants again on the set of Mad Men, currently filming its next season. I was gonna say something along the lines of, “My god, Jon! Don’t you ever learn?” There was such a media firestorm earlier this year with everyone zooming in closer and closer on his crotch — until I’m fairly positive I could sketch its goddamn portrait — that I just assumed Jon would be taking precautions this time around. I mean if it were me, I’d be doubling and tripling up on tighty-whities and walking around with fruit baskets in front of my johnson.That’s just me and my paralyzing fear of anyone noticing or discussing anything about my body.
But Jon hasn’t been doing that at all, and more power to him. In fact, he’s been behaving exactly as normal, and possibly even free-balling it again, if this photo is accurate. And I just realized that I kind of respect him for that. He’s the one at work doing his job, and we’re the ones inappropriately ogling illicit photos of him that were snapped during filming. Is he supposed to change his behavior just because a few bloggers (myself very much included) are sensationalizing his body in a way that would never be okay if we did it to women? I’d say definitely not, so I’m really glad that Jon isn’t playing into it.
But that said…as long as there are photos of it on the internet in which I can lit’rally trace its outline with my eyeballs, I’m gonna find it really hard to be as mature as I know I’m meant to be. Apologies.
(Images: Pacific Coast News)