Ugh man you guys, isn’t being attractive and wealthy and unbelievably famous the worst? You have all these teeny tiny problems, and every time you try to complain about them in an inappropriate venue, like two million people on the internet point out how stupid you’re being. Enter Kylie Jenner.
Kylie Jenner is one of the attractive-est and wealthiest and famousest sixteen-year olds on the planet. She’s the daughter of Kris and Bruce Jenner, and the sister of Kendall Jenner — whose eighteenth birthday every perv in America should have just celebrated this past weekend with a big ‘ol Costco sheet cake with the words ‘Doesn’t Change A Goddamn Thing’ on it in icing. She has a ton of visibility, a lot of shiny hair, clear skin, and money, and a TON of problems.
One of those problems is that she’s bipolar. Or at least she thinks she is, enough to tweet about it. Wait really quick — bipolar is that thing where you regret an insignificant decision you’ve made, right? Something that affects approximately zero other people on the planet and will never actually threaten your health in any way? Good, just making sure.
Well Kylie has that real bad. I mean she’s got a real bad case of bipolar — maybe the worst I’ve ever seen — because she changed her hair at some point and now she regrets it. Don’t bother calling a doctor or getting a second opinion, because this is bipolar disorder to a T, and the only prescription is more selfies.
I miss my black hair I’m so bipolar pic.twitter.com/YMRFXwKju8
— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) November 6, 2013
There’s so much about this that is so medically accurate and not at all offensive, so let’s unpack it. Even though up until now, I truly believed that bipolar disorder was a mental illness that 4% of the people on earth suffer from, I now see that it is much more effective when used as an adjective to describe regret. Everything from the casual use of the sadface and the fact that Kylie is so bipolar instead of just regular bipolar fills me with a deep and empathetic understanding of the difficulties inherent of living with this illness. Seeing how much Kylie is suffering on a day-to-day level is certainly increasing awareness of mental illness the world over, and I, for one, couldn’t be more grateful.
Thank you, Kylie, for sharing your struggles with us. You’re very brave. I hope your black hair somehow comes back to you soon, even though that condition is traditionally understood to be incurable. Unlike bipolar disorder, of course.