I’m about to drop two shocking pieces of knowledge on you. Just let them fall right on your head and crack open and wash over you like egg. So get ready. Here we go. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have been dating for over a year. Okay, calm down, I still need to tell you the second thing. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore still aren’t officially divorced yet. In fact, they’ve been separated for almost two whole years. But that’s all changing soon.
Ashton and Demi, who didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement (big mistake, HUGE) have finally agreed to a settlement, and as soon as this puppy is finalized Ashton plans to make his engagement to Mila official, according to a that always reliable “source.” This could happen as early as next week, so start preparing your celebrity proposal bunker that you didn’t have a chance to get into when Kimye attacked by surprise a few weeks ago. This time we get advanced notice!
‘They’re all happy and the papers are signed and with the lawyers now, so Ashton’s free to officially propose to Mila. Both of them want to marry and have children.’
Of course, there have been rumors that Ashla (Milashton? Kutchis? Okay, I’ll stop) are already engaged, thanks to Mila wearing a certain ring on a certain finger that you’re only supposed to wear certain rings on. So maybe they’re already planning to tie the knot but want to wait until the divorce is finalized to announce it. Because that’s the polite thing to do, I guess. I don’t really know, I’ve never been dating a fellow celebrity while divorcing another fellow celebrity. I don’t know the rules.
What I do know is that I’m surprisingly okay with this whole thing. I’m not the biggest cheerleader of getting married to begin with, especially when it comes to celebrity couples and especially especially if the engagement comes directly after divorce. And even though I tend to think of Ashton Kutcher as a tool, they seem really happy and comfortable together, and they’re private enough that I don’t feel like they’re screaming for our attention. What the hell. This time a few years from now I’ll probably be writing a story with the headline “Ashton Kutcher Will Propose To Helen Mirren Once He Gets His Mila Kunis Removed.” It’s just the circle of celebrity romance, and it moves us all to roll our eyes.