I consider myself fairly adept at the ways of the internet, considering I spend pretty much my whole day on it for work, but even I think I might need someone to explain Miley Cyrus‘ new website to me. I can’t tell if I’m too young to understand it or too old, but something is afoot here.
If you type mileycyrus.com into your computer machines, you will be taken to a brand new page that I think I might have created in my 8th grade Powerpoint. It has that same gradated background that I took such pride in, various pieces of Clip Art scattered tastefully around, and candids of Miley just pal-ing around. It’s like the Miley Cyrus equivalent of Oprah’s ‘My Favorite Things’ vomited onto a webpage from the year 2000 and they decided to keep it.
There’s a photo of a hamburger cake, some lips, a bag of money, some emoji, and a blunt that really smokes! YOU GUYS IT REALLY SMOKES. And a checkered Miley leg that really kicks! And a cursor that turns into a foam finger when you hover it over links! My mind is so totally blown by this cutting-edge website technology.
No but seriously you guys, I can’t tell if Miley is an imbecile or a genius. I’m guessing a genius because I would care approximately zero percent if any other artist created a new website, but I’m still resistant to the idea on account of the fact that I think I could make this site myself. But by all means, go click around for yourself. Take in the sights and sounds, read her welcome letter, re-watch the video for ‘We Can’t Stop’, try to reclaim your wasted youth as Miley kicks happily in her little corner of cyberspace.
The world is your oyster, friend, and it’s up to you to see if you can understand what the hell is going on.