Kris Jenner Says She Cried Herself To Sleep Over Kim’s Sex Tape, Forgets To Add They Were Tears Of Joy

Kris Jenner In Bed With Joan 2013

Kris Jenner took a break from plotting to make every episode of Sesame Street sponsored by the letter K to make an appearance on Joan Rivers’ web talk show “In Bed With Joan.” She’s Kris Jenner for the whole video, so you can probably piece together what that’s like, but the best part of the interview is when Joan asks how she felt about her daughter Kim Kardashian’s sex tape going public in 2007 and Kris actually pretends that she was upset by it. “I cried myself to sleep,” she declares as I sit up in my chair with a bucket of popcorn eager to see how she’ll spin this.

“I’m somewhat of a, you know, religious person, and I keep that to myself. So I live a certain way and I feel a certain way, and I pray for my kids every day, and I’m so in love with my family life. And that hits me up the side of the head, and I literally fell apart. I had to go in a room and cry for a couple days and say okay, pull yourself to-fucking-gether, because you have to be here for all these kids and your family and you have to show them as an example how to get through this.”

First of all, I’m glad Kris takes her pact with the devil seriously enough that she’ll refer to it as a religion. Second of all, I’m now picturing Kris literally falling apart into various pieces and then Oprah picking each piece up and handing them out to people shouting, “And you get a Kris Jenner and you get a Kris Jenner!” Third of all, I love that Kris decided to serve as such an inspiration to her family and was able to show them that the best way to get through a sex tape getting out “by accident” is to use it to get famous. And here we are today. It warms my cold black heart.

You can watch the entire interview below if you have the strength, but if you’re excited to see the sex tape talk play out, skip ahead to 4:20 (oh grow up). It’s really awesome because you can almost see the ratings pumping through her blood to get to her brain to help her form the correct words to say. “Crying is like when you’re sad because Instagram won’t post your bikini picture fast enough, right?” she probably said to herself.

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
Share This Post:
    • Shannon

      What mother would not have been upset about that, they had never had anything like that happen to them, none of her kids had EVER been in any trouble, that is embarassing, they have a grandmother and Aunts and Uncles and stuff like that do you think that is the type of sh*t people want to explain to their family? you all listen to all this tabloid crap about her being involved in the making of the tape which is complete bull crap as a mother I would have been p*ssed and upset and hurt all at the same time. Stop the bull crap tabloid foolishness.

    • Jessieface

      “First of all, I’m glad Kris takes her pact with the devil seriously enough that she’ll refer to it as a religion.”

      This is the best piece of internet I’ve read today.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Thank you! You saying it’s the best piece of internet you’ve read today is the best piece of internet I’ve read today.

    • Windolin

      Tears of JOY…..