• Mon, Nov 4 - 3:11 pm ET

Nick Offerman Calls Parks And Rec NBC’s ‘Turgid Boner,’ And I Weirdly Agree With Him

Parks and Recreation Ron Swanson Nick Offerman(via)

Leave it to Nick Offerman to bring boners into a conversation about his show Parks and Recreation. This guy, everybody. This guy. To catch you up on what’s going on with the show, NBC recently announced that they would be taking Parks and Rec off the schedule for a few weeks to allow for a couple of episodes of The Voice and an SNL Halloween special (which I admittedly watched Halloween night) in the hopes of boosting the ratings on their new Thursday series, as Uproxx explains. Naturally, the fans freaked out a little, people feared cancellation was on the horizon, and basically the world stopped spinning for a few minutes while we all tried to cope. Thankfully Adam Scott assured everyone the show would be fine and there was nothing to worry about.

But since Parks and Rec is one of those amazing comedies that get great reviews and have devoted fans but don’t get the highest ratings, naturally the cast was asked about it. That includes Nick Offerman, aka Ron Swanson, who had this to say to The Hollywood Reporter about being “shuffled around” by the network.

We want the best for the network. They are a larger organism of which we’re a living breathing part. I dare say we are the throbbing, turgid boner of NBC. Perhaps, more appropriately, we’re also the fecund ovaries since our show is a matriarchy under Amy [Poehler]. But like any organism, sometimes you’re proud of your genitals, and you want to use them to give pleasure to others. And other times you have to focus on the other parts of your body — if you have a bad tooth or an ear infection. In those instances, you don’t generally want your genitalia exposed. And so you put it away while you pay attention to your haircut.

He continued with this amazing analogy even further.

We enjoy the cultural coitus into which NBC inserts us, but sometimes we understand that we will remain dormant within their trousers. As long as the lights are still on and we’re still shooting, we’re happy as clams.

Not only do I love how detailed and strangely eloquent Nick’s explanation is, but I’m also inclined to agree with him. As annoying as it is to not be able to enjoy that boner every week like we expect (I’m sorry), NBC has a network to run and sometimes it has to make decisions that are frustrating for the fans in order to help itself. As long as the show does come back and the ratings are in tact and acceptable and the show is still its usual wonderful bonery self, everything’s fine. At this point, being a fan of cult TV shows means expecting the bare minimum. We’re just like, “Is the show still not canceled? Cool, I’ll take it.”

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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