Justin Bieber Gets Tired Of Going To Strip Clubs, Upgrades To A Brazilian Brothel

Justin Bieber performing in Puerto Rico October 2013

Sigh. Sigh sigh sigh. A million and one sighs. What ever happened to hanging out at home with a box of Cheez-Its and watching reruns of Roseanne? Justin Bieber should really try it sometime. It’s a nice alternative to VISITING A BROTHEL. That’s right, according to The New York Post’s Page Six, Bieber was spotted sneaking out of a brothel called Centauros in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on Friday night.

Someone with very Biebery sneakers and a very Biebery wrist tattoo was photographed leaving the establishment covered in a bedsheet. The Post reports that he and a friend spent more than three hours there before leaving with two women and heading back to his hotel, where he was reportedly kicked out later for “breaking the rules.”

What’s the big problem with this, other than the fact that he was allegedly IN A BROTHEL?! Apparently prostitution is legal in Brazil, but brothels are not, so… dilemma. I guess Bieber was just so bored of posting “Free Breezy” graffiti in Colombia or dropping thousands of dollars on strippers back in the states that he needed a new form of entertainment. Or maybe there was a mix-up and he thought the brothel was on fire so he ran in to save the prostitutes and then he got so tired of walking (as he’s wont to do) that he had to sit down and rest for a few hours. Yeah, I’m sure that’s all it was.

I can’t wait for the Beliebers to rationalize this one. “He’s just being a normal 19-year-old. When I was 19 I visited foreign brothels whenever I pleased. Stop pretending like what he’s doing is out of the ordinary. He’s just having good clean prostitutey fun. Just shut up and focus on his beautiful music that all sounds the same. Ugh you’re such a hater! Get a real job!”

I think I’m gonna go tweet Kendall Jenner asking if she can use her 18th birthday cake wish to push Justin Bieber into eternal obscurity. Hey, she’s got the evil powers of Kris Jenner behind her. I’m sure they can work something out.

(Photo: WENN.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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