As The Jonas Brothers do the media rounds announcing and pseudo-explaining their break-up, all eyes are on Joe Jonas to see how much of this he takes responsibility for. (Or all my eyes are on him, at least. I don’t know what you’re doing with your eyes.)
There are a lot of rumors swirling that the reason the guys canceled their tour and ultimately broke up the band was because Joe is allegedly addicted to drugs, specifically heroin and cocaine, which he and his girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler supposedly do together. According to reports, his behavior has become more and more erratic, and they just got to the point where he couldn’t be relied upon to go through the motions anymore. And also Nick Jonas had to ‘share his heart with his brothers‘. Whatever that means.
But let’s go right to the horse’s mouth and see what he has to say for himself. Open up your little mouth, you pony, and tell People what your response is to all these rumors:
“It’s ridiculous! We’re not saying anything for two or three weeks and I’m a drug addict!”
Oh no! I think this might be that confusing beast known as sarcasm, so open up your horse mouth a little more, Joe. Let some oats out.
“It’s obviously not true. I’ve never touched heroin in my life. Neither has my girlfriend. It’s hilarious to me, but also frustrating as well. It pissed me off when it’s about my girl.”
Well there you have it, guys. He said it himself — he’s never done heroin. And if there’s one thing the JoBros (RIP) are known for, it’s keeping their word — remember when they went on a break and everyone said they were breaking up but they reminded us that they’re a band of brothers who would be together forever? Yeah! Bet you feel pretty silly right now!
And also, history suggests that anyone struggling with addiction is really open about it right away. People never ever wait until things spiral out of control and they can’t keep it a secret anymore before they open up. They never ever keep issuing denials until the story leaks in its entirety before coming forward to admit their problems, right? This is all such a relief.
“I was walking down the street and people are asking me if they can give me a hug and how rehab is. I’m like, ‘You tell me because I’ve never been’.”
See you guys?? We have nothing to worry about, because I’ve never seen a confession follow a denial ever in all my years on this sweet sweet earth! And that’s that! I don’t want to hear another word about it!
(Image: revolutionpix / WENN.com)