If I could marry any couple in Hollywood right now, it would be Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. My obsession for them as a couple’s bordering on out of control right now. Dax’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel last night only resulted in me staying up into the wee hours of the night googling, “but seriously Google, quit messing around, would Dax and Kristen be interested in having me on as a sister wife?”
And I can legally say sister wife because the couple got married in a low-key courthouse wedding this month. You might have missed it because your lovedar’s broken. And/or because it was the lowest of low-key weddings to ever happen within 50,000 miles of Los Angeles. Seriously, there are rumors floating around that the two had to resign from the A-List after pulling that stunt. After all, everyone knows that Rule #489 of being on the A-List reads, “thou shall havest a wedding with a budget so large that they could feed an entire country for no less than 17 years. Thou gets temporarily promoted to the A+ list if a People cover’s involved. In contrast thou gets demoted to the D-list if In Touch is anywhere near the ceremony.”
To add insult to the A-List’s injury, Kristen and Dax didn’t even have a proper wedding cake to eat after they said “I do.” Nope, they instead just had to hope that their friends would pull through with one. And while their friends definitely pulled through, it wasn’t quite like any wedding cake before. In fact it was small and casual (not even black tie casual, just casual) and it had “The World’s Worst Wedding” written in frosting on it. Naturally I can’t stop starring at it. Not only because it’s perfect, but also because I’m now hoping that I get a similar one when I marry them.