Considering that I eat salacious rumors and ridiculous gossip for breakfast, I loved reading the morning rumors that Justin Bieber destroyed Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom’s marriage. It’s one thing to cheat, but it’s a whole other thing to cheat with the-boy-with-the-face-that-puberty-forgot. On Orlando Bloom! While there aren’t currently any actual allegations that Miranda hooked up with the Biebs, there are all kinds of insinuations in The Daily Mail today that he’s part of the reason that the two are getting divorced.
So before you fall behind on this BREAKING scandal, let me catch you up on what we know about the sitch so far. Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr met at the 2012 Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Sources say they partied together after the show. I don’t know if this means they happened to go to the same party or they that they drank from the same red Solo cup and spent the entire night doing the “we go together” dance from Grease over and over again.
Other sources (or the same sources or the sources in the writer’s head, who ever knows) claim that Miranda’s such a fan of Justin that she taught her son to say “Bieber Fever.” Whether she taught Flynn to say this before or after the show remains unclear. Either way, Orlando apparently wasn’t happy with all these new developments. And I have to assume not just because of what it meant for his marriage, but also for his young son’s development. Four out of five dentists say that exposing someone to Justin Bieber at such a young age can be extremely detrimental. Especially to a child on the cusp of being potty trained. “But Justin Bieber still poops his pants,” toddlers are prone to say after seeing him in concert, “and he’s still considered a big boy.”
While we’re sure that everyone except Bieber will deny these allegations, we can only hope that the drama escalates up another notch. Perhaps Orlando Bloom winked at Selena Gomez once? Perhaps they also partied together.
Cross your fingers for that while you watch this video of Miranda Kerr complementing Bieber on the night where it all apparently began.
(Photo: Andres Otero/ WENN.com)