For all those people who were excited to catch a peak of baby North West’s birth this week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the episode was a giant goose egg of a disappointment. Little North made exactly zero appearances on this week’s show (Ditto for Kanye), despite the fact that her birth was kind of the central issue of the episode.
I mean, I guess it’s kind of weird to want to watch someone give birth. But Kourtney was totally down for it, so why not Kim? Ohh yeah, that’s right, Kim’s all about the privacy now. Except when she feels like publicly sexting Kanye. But other than that, she just wants us all to stay out of her life, okay? In all seriousness, though, if Kim has finally found something that she deems sacred enough not exploit for the cameras, we should probably be celebrating that as a win for humanity.
Anyway, aside from little North’s birth, the episode covered a lot of ground, indirectly addressing Lamar’s alleged drug problem and bringing back eye candy Brody and Brandon Jenner, so we’ve got lots to discuss. To help you digest all of the episode’s happenings, I’ve divided them up into The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, which I’ll present to you now not at all in that order.
We learned a lot more about the complications surrounding North’s birth this episode. For example, apparently Kim and Kanye had discussed naming the baby only North, with no last name. Yup, that definitely would have been bad. Fortunately Scott was there to reject that idea, helpfully suggesting, “Why don’t you not give her a first name, either?”
The rest of the bad came when we learned the reason Kim went into labor five weeks early. Apparently she had a condition called toxemia, which, according to Kim, involves high blood pressure and the possibility of the liver shutting down.
Although I have no medical training whatsoever, I’d say that does sound serious and honestly must have been pretty scary for the Kardashian-Jenner fam. I really am glad that Kim ended up having an easy birth (Her words, not mine. Nothing about giving birth seems easy to me) and a healthy baby.
Khloe was in the mood to do a bit of giving back this episode, taking a trip with Rob down to Skid Row and volunteering at the Downtown Women’s Center where she served food and chatted with some of the women.
So far, so good. No ugly here. All of this really just solidified Khloe’s place as the most likable Kardashian. Kourtney, however, definitely earned herself some ugly points. While Khloe was telling everyone about a crack addict she and Scott talked to and about how it made her want to go help others, Kourtney interrupts with (and yes, this is a direct quote), “Why do you even care?”
Uhh, yeah, I’d say that’s pretty ugly. But the ugliest part of all was watching Khloe interact with the addicts and seeming so genuinely saddened by their stories and interested in helping them in light of the rumors surrounding Lamar about his own problems with drugs. Like literally it broke my heart to the point where I could hardly watch. So let’s move on to something lighter.
After taking a several episode hiatus, the Jenner boys were back, and I for one could not be more pleased to have my eye candy back. Brody and Brandon Jenner were there to give papa Bruce Jenner some advice on how to hold onto his new BFF Jeff Dunham. It’s been a long time since Bruce has had friend (who needs friends when you have toy helicopters, am I right?), so it’s a good thing that he had THE bromance expert Brody Jenner to be his guide. I mean, come on, Brody had a whole show about this stuff!
But I guess it’s pretty clear why Bromance only last one season. Brody ends up giving Bruce completely the wrong advice about how to handle his pal Jeff. While Brody says Bruce needs to play hard to get, Jeff is all like, “Don’t hide from me, Bruce. I can’t get enough of you, so stop the games and let’s be besties forever.” Awww, how presh. And so, so good.