• Sun, Oct 27 - 1:30 pm ET

Chris Brown Was Arrested For Assault This Morning, Also The Sky Is Blue And The Pope Is Catholic

Chris Brown performing on Today show August 2013

Chris Brown was arrested in Washington D.C. this morning and charged with felony assault, because that’s what happens when you attack someone and punch them in the face at 4:30 in the morning.  

Apparently Chris got into an argument with a man outside his hotel and the man he attacked never threw a punch. Law enforcement “sources” told TMZ that Chris didn’t appear to be under the influence when the incident occurred, which is totally possible because Chris Brown generally doesn’t need an excuse to beat the shit out of people or be a complete asshole.

Chris Brown is still on probation for violently attacking Rihanna.  This blatant violation of probation might work in Brown’s favor, since he recently complained about community service, whining and ranting about it on Twitter.  Actual jail time has been known to cure the boredom of community service, Chris!

If you’re wondering what set him off this time, relax. It’s a completely valid reason: Allegedly,  a woman approached Brown and asked to take a picture with him.  As the picture was about to be taken, two men rushed over to get in the photo.  Chris apparently then said, “I’m not into this gay shit, I’m into boxing” and that’s when the first punch was thrown.

“Sources” (aka friends of Chris Brown) told TMZ the alleged victim was attempting to get on Chris’ tour bus, and Brown was simply trying to stop a trespass. Either way, the victim says he has a broken nose and may need surgery.  The victim is apparently planning on pressing charges, and Chris Brown remains in police custody at least until he appears before a DC magistrate tomorrow.

Oh, that Chris Brown… such a deranged, homophobic charmer! #TeamBreezy.


(Photo: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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