What In The Actual Hell Does Lady Gaga Think She Was Wearing Last Night?

Lady Gaga wearing a mustache with no eyebrows October 2013

Serious question here, guys — how will we know when Lady Gaga has truly lost it? She’s so intentionally wacky that I feel like it would take an incredibly long time for anyone to notice anything. Like y’know how people say that the worst possible time to have a heart attack would be during a game of charades? I feel like the worst time to have a mental breakdown is when you’re Lady Gaga. Because people will just keep on guessing.

In the very same day that she wore that insane oversized owl mask thing, Gaga showed up in Berlin dressed up as some sort of deranged shiny mad scientist lady boy. Or, as my coworker Meg more accurately described it, like the baby of Tilda Swinton and Salvador Dali if you plugged them both into Lindsay Bluth’s ‘Mommy What Would I Look Like?’ software on Arrested Development.

WHAT IS THIS. I’m not even ready to talk about her outfit, yet, but what is happening with her face? From what I can see she’s wearing a wig, has bleached her eyebrows almost to the point of invisibility, has her bull nose ring in, dark blue contacts, bright white eyeliner and mascara, and bright red lipstick. OH RIGHT AND A WAXED BROWN MUSTACHE. What? Why. Why would this ever happen? What kind of statement is this making other than a loud and resounding, “Send help.”

And her outfit doesn’t do much to help me feel any better. She’s wearing a black bra scenario with twisted up straps and matching high waisted leather underwear under a scarlet-lined fur cloak that she keeps letting slide off her shoulder like she doesn’t have the strength or the motivation to keep it on. I don’t get it. I don’t get it the single slightest bit. I mean, I know she always looks like she’s wearing a Halloween costume, but this is more bizarre than I even have words for.

All this combined with the fact that her songs are increasingly just ripoffs of old Madonna stuff and her videos are patchwork quilts of her old material are making me pretty nervous that she’s right on the brink of something. But we probably won’t know what until she actually gets there, so everybody buckle up.

(Image: Herb Dehler / Future Image / WENN.com)

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