So the movie Blue Is The Warmest Color gets its US release today, and at this point I’m sure you’ve either heard nothing about it or you’ve heard a ton about it. There isn’t really a middle ground with this film, and here are a few reasons why that might be:
- It’s in French.
- It’s about lesbians.
- It’s three hours long.
- It’s rated NC-17 and contains a ten minute long explicit sex scene.
- There’s a serious feud going on between the director, Abdellatif Kechiche, and one of the two lead actresses, Lea Seydouz.
For some of you, these are probably serious obstacles to learning more about it, while for others, they have you on the edge of your seat waiting for the next development. But regardless, you need to see this movie. That’s not up for debate at all. As far as I’m concerned, it’s an emotionally devastating, honest portrayal of the transformation of love over time and the ways that we as humans choose to hurt each other, and you need to see it. It’s one of the only times in my life where I’ve agreed with a movie being three hours long, and you will leave the theater feeling things intensely. I promise you that.
The only thing that is up for debate is who to see it with. You’re gonna see reviews all over the internet from people way more knowledgeable and qualified than I am, telling you what they think of this movie. But no matter what they say about whether you should watch it or not, nobody’s gonna get right down to it and tell you how to watch it. The true logistics of it, namely who you should and shouldn’t ask to accompany you to the theater and sit beside you as two ladies get voracious on each others’ clams for like thirty minutes total. Not an exaggeration.
But I’m always looking out for you guys, so here’s your official guide to whom you can and can’t watch this movie with, courtesy of someone who narrowly avoided watching it with her boss. (Me.) I mean obviously the best way to watch it would be by yourself, at your apartment once it’s on DVD so you don’t have to moderate your reactions at all, but since you probably want to watch it before the Oscars, here’s the next best thing.
So you want to watch with…
A FAMILY MEMBER
NO: your parents, your grandparents, a distant cousin, your favorite uncle, etc.
MAYYYBE: a sibling.
IF YOU MUST: an identical twin with whom you can communicate telepathically.
A ROMANTIC INTEREST
NO: a first date, a blind date, any date at all
MAYYYBE: someone you’re married to
IF YOU MUST: someone you’ve been with long enough that you poop in front of them
NO: a coworker, a friend from high school, anyone you haven’t seen in a while
MAYYYBE: someone with whom you don’t have a shared language
IF YOU MUST: a fellow film snob, but only if you bring those horse-blinders so you don’t have to interact in any way during the movie, even accidentally
NO: anyone with whom you have any kind of awkward history
MAYYYBE: I don’t know. Use your best instincts. Be your best self. You know your friends better than I do.
IF YOU MUST: your gay best friend with whom you have absolutely no sexual tension
NO: just don’t, too risky
MAYYYBE: This is probably the best option, but just bear in mind that if you do this, you’ll be seeing an NC-17 rated movie with a room full of heavy-breathing strangers, like I did. There are worse things, but try to keep a seat empty on either side of you as a cushion.
I hope that was informative. Just be safe out there.