As we ease into the holiday season, let’s all take a moment to remind ourselves of the spirit of gift-giving. There are many unwritten rules of exchanging presents, but the one we’re focusing on today is ‘ye must not be an inconvenience’. This means that no matter how expensive or impressive or thoughtful your gift is, if it changes the life of the receiver in a negative way due to being extremely effing time-consuming, it stops being a gift and starts being a thing you made your friend take responsibility for.
But you know who clearly hasn’t read the gift-exchange guidebook? Rob Kardashian. Because he gave his younger half-sister Kendall Jenner a Great Dane for an early eighteenth birthday present.
Okay. Let me quickly point out that Kendall herself is very excited about this present. She’s named the puppy Blu and she’s been posting photos on Instagram nonstop. And I wish I could be as excited as she is, but I just think a Great Dane puppy is probably the funniest gift you could ever give a teenager. All of a sudden this eighteen-year old is gonna have to keep a living being alive, when up to now her only responsibility has been to tweet out deep thoughts every hour on the hour and show up to photo shoots on time. And most of that modeling career is Kris Jenner and smoke and mirrors, anyway. She has a life-size Kendall doll that she can put over her hand and use like a puppet if Kendall ever doesn’t show up.
But anyway, the only silver lining to being a fresh new dog-owner is that you can still carry your puppy with you when you go shopping at Fred Segal, which is what’s happening in that picture up there. But then you remember that this is a GREAT DANE and it’s already so enormous as a puppy, but the second you turn around it’ll be nine feet tall and twelve-hundred pounds. So good luck carrying that around in your purse.
Bottom line, I just want to know if Rob Kardashian has considered a career as a health teacher, because this supposed ‘gift’ seems to have a lot in common with that exercise where you have to carry around a sack of potatoes for two weeks like it’s your baby, or keep from cracking an egg or something. It’s an excellent way to test maturity, aka I predict Kendall hands it off to someone Justin Bieber style before her nineteenth birthday.