Halloween 2K13 is just eight days away now. While that’s long enough to throw in a full Chanukah celebration, it’s nowhere near long enough to put together a well thought-out costume. The time to plan out the perfect outfit’s over. Sorry, but it’s true. All you have time for now is rummaging through your closet and throwing something together. Luckily, I’m on your side. As the self-appointed queen of last minute costumes, I totally got you covered here.
(Photo: Elle Magazine)
Blow dry your hair in front of a fan and make sure to pause the blow dryer every few minute to spray in copious amounts of hair spray. Then make sure to send me a photo, I just made up this technique and I’m 0% sure it will turn out well. After your hair’s all set, throw on a large coat and practice your best “I might flash you tonight and I might not flash you tonight” pose. Finally, if you’re feeling extra-creative, write Elle on a large piece of paper, cut out a space for your face in between the two Ls and wear that around all night.
2. Taylor Swift
(Photo: Joel Ginsburg/WENN)
Do you have bangs? Yes. Great! No? Scissors? Yes? Cut some. Now the hardest part is done. Put your hair up in a perfect ponytail. Then tuck a striped shirt into a pair of high-waisted shorts and you’re all set. Looking to go above and beyond? Grab a hairbrush and sing into it all nght like it’s a microphone. Looking to go abover and beyonder? Invite all your ex’s to the same Halloween party and let the night play out from there.
Odds are that you’ll be asked to audition for this movie disaster any day now. I mean, they’re already on the z-list stars. Normals are next! All you need to do is wear a tie, buy a pair of plastic handcuffs and tape a piece of paper to yourself that says “Fifty Shades of Grey Christian Grey auditionee #784.”
Step one: wash your face. Step two: be naturally beautiful. Step three: wear a name tag with the make-up-free celeb name of your choice.
Put on the grungiest, grossest most ill-fitting t-shirt you have. Now remove your pants. Wah-lah! You are Hannah Horvath. (Bonus points if you walk around with a Q-Tip danging out of your ear all night!)
So you’re in the mood for something a little darker and a little less relevant? Cool. Put on the smallest black clothing you have. Now take eyeliner and go round and round your eyes until you hit your hairline. Then go around six more times for good luck.
Sure there will be a ton of Miley Cyrus’ running around on all Hallow’s eve, but will there be enough wrecking balls to go around? I vote no. So here’s what you need to do. Wear all grey and duct tape a pillow to your stomach. Then have a friend (or a talented pet) wrap your stomach-pillow in tinfoil. After that, construct a chain out of paper clips and clip them into your hair. Finally find a naked baby doll and prop it up on your shoulders. Okay fine, you probably, hopefully, don’t have a baby doll laying around your house. But wouldn’t it be convenient if you did!
(Photo: Craig Harris/WENN)
This one’s almost too easy. Wrap yourself in a blanket, throw a crown on your head and you’re good to go. Want to make it sexy? Throw on an adult diaper and that same crown.
Looking for a throwback? Well ladies, look no further. Throw on a pair of tight jeans and a hot pink tank top and you’re good to go. Want to be even gooder to go? Make a giant pair of cartoon eyes and tape them to your sunglasses. #OldDisneyChannel4Life
You have cat ears laying around right? Somewhere? Don’t all girls always have tampons and cat ears on hand? No? Okay, well I read that once in Cosmo or something. Anyway, find ears, dress in all black and be a snarky asshole allllll night long to the people who are hosting you.
Pull your most grandmotherly clothes out of the closet. Cut them provocatively. Then grab that baby doll that we mentioned above and head out for the night.
12. A dead Bunhead
(Photo: Randy Holmes/ Disney via IMDb)
Warning, this cosutme only works if you have a leotard or the balls to rob an American Apparel. So know that before you go any further. Step one: dress like a dancer. Step two: put a bun in your head. Step three: make yourself look dead with baby powder, fake blood (ketchup) and powder that’s way too light for your face. A costume that makes a statement about a show canceled too soon? Yes please!