Okay so I have Jennifer Lawrence‘s Dior photos in front of me, and I’m not sure what I’m missing here. Yes, she is a beautiful girl, and the clothes are tasteful and wonderful and blah blah blah, but these pictures feel off to me, and I can’t figure out why. I think they remind me of something, and yup! I just now figured out what it is — J-Law closely resembles what I look and feel like after I’ve had an especially successful massage.
That’s it! That’s it exactly. You’re not gonna convince me that Jennifer didn’t spend the ninety minutes leading up to this photoshoot with her face in a towel donut, falling asleep while her limbs get kneaded, only to be startled awake by her own snores. Or by the sensation of drool falling out of her mouth. (Wow. I am revealing a lot of things, here. First of all that I’m slobbery enough to drool myself awake, and second of all that there was a time in my life when I could afford massages. Tread carefully, Rhiannon.)
Everything about these photos matches the Massage Hypothesis. The lightly oiled skin, the ‘someone has had their fingers in my hair’ updo, the vaguely glazed eyes, the lying down poses where you can tell her body is made of goo and all she wants to do is curl up in bed with a silk face mask and a cucumber water. Sure, they’ve somehow removed the towel marks on her face that I’m also prone to because I’m a slob, but nobody’s ever had any issue Photoshopping her before, so why would removing crease lines from her massage face be any different?
Jennifer is modeling tailored businesswear and outerwear for the designer house’s Miss Dior line, and these black and white photos were shot by Mikael Jansson for the publication’s Fall/Winter 2013 issue.
(Images: Mikael Jansson for Dior)