• Mon, Oct 21 - 10:28 am ET

Taylor Swift’s New Song Is So Cheesy That I Want To Make Fondue With It

taylor swift heart hands

For the first time in recorded history, Taylor Swift released a song about a man who she’s not seeking revenge on. “Sweeter Than Fiction” is part of the movie soundtrack for an upcoming film about Paul Potts. You know Paul Potts right? He’s Mrs. Pott’s ex-husband from Beauty and the Beast. He sees Chip every other weekend. Also, keep this on the DL, but there are rumors that he had an affair with The Wardrobe.

Oh wait, I’m getting word that’s not true. Paul Potts is not a philandering teapot. He won Britain’s Got Talent. In 2007. And I guess that winning that show includes getting a biopic made about your life. According to IMDB, One Chance comes out October 25th. According to me, boring. So enough about Paul Potts and more about Tay’s new song!

It’s a cheesefest. It’s also a mash-up of every ’80s song you’ve ever heard. (Specifically this song, check out both choruses). Seriously, when you listen to it,  you’ll be like this sounds like…well….ummmm….EVERYTHING. And then when you finish listening to it, you’ll look into a mirror and see that your hair morphed itself into a side pony and that your socks turned into leg warmers and that you’re starring in a John Hughes movie.

All serious music criticism aside (and guys, when music criticism involves food references, you know it’s serious), it’s the perfect movie soundtrack song. Like, I can picture it happening in almost any of montage scenes from the Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. So I’m sure it will work out great for this “Paul Potts” movie. And secretly, great for my ears. This kind of horribly cheesy pop music is so far up my alley that it has a timeshare there.

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