You remember how terrible Kim Kardashian‘s pregnancy was, right? Full of misery, medical issues, foot swelling, internet shaming, loneliness, ballooning weight, and enough complaining to go with each of the above afflictions? I have a pretty clear recollection of all that, and I just wanted to make sure someone else did, too, because Kim has apparently forgotten all about it.
I say this because after all that — AFTER ALL THAT — she’s apparently ready to get pregnant and do it all over again mere months after giving birth to North West. Mere days I tell you, after posting a photo in which her post-baby body is jealousy-inducing, even if her wedgie is not. Are you a goldfish, Kimberly? Do you remember nothing from the experience of having a tiny life growing inside you? I mean, I know you and Nori are getting along surprisingly well, especially considering her father Kanye West could barely be bothered to fly in from Paris for her birth, but this is some next level ish.
“They are discussing having another baby right away. It’s serious.”
THIS IS SERIOUS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. And apparently it’s at least partly based on the fact that Kim is no spring chicken anymore. In fact, today is her thirty-third birthday, so she’s practically shriveled and barren.
“[Kim] is well aware that she’s getting older, and that if she wants to have a bigger family, then she needs to get it done.”
Okay well there’s some language I recognize, at least. ‘Get it done’ in reference to having another child. There’s the Kimye I know.
“Kim is telling Kanye that she doesn’t think it makes sense to gain pregnancy weight, lose it, and then gain it all back again. She’s starting to think she might want to just suck it up and be big and pregnant in one long go and then lose the weight once and for all.”
Yes these are the things to consider when deciding to expand your family. Thank you for having your priorities in order: body before baby.
“Kanye likes Kim at any size, so that part doesn’t matter to him. But he loves the idea of having another baby soon. Both of them are so blown away with her. And Kanye is a better father than anyone ever imagined he would be.”
Okay, but is that saying a lot? Because didn’t most people imagine that Kanye wouldn’t be a great father? So for him to beat that, he just has to be better than not great. Wonderful.
“Kim and Kanye believe what will be will be, but since she got pregnant so easily the first time around, Kim could be pregnant again soon!”
We still don’t know what caused that first baby, but I guess we’ll just keep messing around playing Hide And Go Spooge until another one comes out!