Justin Bieber’s just an artist, you guys. He’s all about the music, so much so that he dedicated a whole day of the week to debuting new songs. But sometimes Justin Bieber needs a break from being a serious artist. Sometimes his artistry gets so exhausting he needs to be physically carried up the Great Wall of China because the music is so powerful it made his legs all wibbly wobbly. He also needs to unwind by doing things like visiting strip clubs and grabbing strippers’ asses.
Yes, this past Friday, Bieber reportedly visited a strip club called VLive in Houston, Texas, and according to stripper DiamondsR4ever (sigh), he even went so far as to grace her backside with the genius of his fingers. She tweeted all about it, writing “He Touched My Ass I Almost Fainted.” Wow, you know your artistry is powerful when a stripper nearly passes out from your touch. Diamonds also tweeted a photo of a pile of money presumably from Bieber’s bank account. How charitable of him. This is just like the time he gave money to that homeless lady and made sure to put it on Instagram so everyone would know about it.
I am, however, slightly worried that Bieber may have broken a rule here. After all, a lot of strip clubs have the same policy as prison visiting rooms. That rule of course being:
It also looks like Bieber was inspired by the atmosphere and decided to do a striptease of his own. Another stripper named Lira Galore (who, judging by her name, only accepts outtdated Italian currency) tweeted the above photo of Bieber sans shirt and nearly sans pants as well. Aw, how sweet. He must have heard that performers calm their nerves by picturing the audience naked and wanted to make the visualization easier for them. The work of a true artist.