I think I’m going to need to put my therapist’s number back on speed dial, folks, because I can’t un-see this and you won’t be able to either. Gawker is reporting that 33-year-old “singer/songwriter” Toby Sheldon is so obsessed with Justin Bieber that he spent nearly $100k on plastic surgery to morph him into the 19-year-old tween heartthrob/bucket-pisser extraordinaire. That’s right. A guy in his thirties spent his life savings and the equivalent of a college education to become the ultimate Belieber.
Apparently this Toby guy is scared of getting older, as he should be at the ripe old age of 33. So naturally the next step to combat this process is to go through “a series of Aquamid injections, and hair transplants to look like Justin Bieber.” He even had a “smile surgery” to achieve Justin’s youthful smirk. I didn’t even know that was an actual procedure that existed until just now, which leaves me no choice but to wonder why this guy didn’t send off “red flag” vibes to his doctor? I’d have kindly escorted this gentleman out of my office and directly into a straitjacket.
“My smile surgery took more than a month to recover from,” Sheldon recalled. “And, after my eyelid surgery, I couldn’t open my eyes for a week.”
See? Case in point. ”But at least it was all worth it,” I hear you thinking, because he probably scored a big record deal of his own and achieved a higher sense of purpose and self-love from this whole thing, right? Almost. ”My friends shower me with compliments,” he says. “They even call me Toby Bieber.”
Great. Let’s just keep this guy away from the Great Wall of China and the Anne Frank House, please.