Crushable Presents: Hocus Pocus And The City

Sarah Jessica Parker Hocus Pocus Come Little Children

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After the virgin lit the black candle, I got to thinking…what if we we made a  mash-up of Hocus Pocus and Sex and the City in honor of Halloween. And what if we pretend that Salem was New York City and that Carrie Bradshaw was a witch? AND WHAT IF MAX HADN’T BEEN SO COCKY ABOUT HIS VIRGINITY STATUS IN FRONT OF A HOT GIRL WITH NICE YABBOS. Okay, okay, I’m getting off topic here. But still, really Max? Have some respect for yourself.

And Binx, buddy, have an idea of when you should and shouldn’t talk. For example, times you should talk include the time your parents were hanging the witches who killed your sister and the time Dani told her parents about the Sanderson Sisters being dangerous while holding you. If you had said one word, any word, those parents would’ve been like, “holy shit, that cat just talked, maybe we should find out where our kids obtained a talking cat and listen to what they’re saying about witches chasing them around town.” But alas, Binx is a man-cat of few words. And Max is a man-boy of few sexual experiences.

That’s neither here nor there right now. Today’s all about Sarah Jessica Parker and her two most important roles. Enjoy Hocus Pocus and the City.

Video produced by Meg Malone

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