Being in a fakelationship is an exhausting pastime, you guys. Just think of all the pressure it puts on your thumbs, sending out all those tweets and Instagrams of the two of you together, skipping through fields of daisies and whatnot. And the more implausible your relationship, the more energy it takes to keep up the illusion…so it makes total sense to me that Nina Dobrev and Derek Hough have dropped the act after only six weeks. They were tired!
That’s right, you guys! It feels like just yesterday, but it was a full six weeks ago that this fakelationship blossomed like a rose in bloom while I speculated on its authenticity and Derek’s sexual orientation and received dozens of seething threats on every single one of my social media platforms as my reward. I barely had the energy to field those angry comments for one day, so I’m impressed that Nina and Derek were able to keep it up for six weeks. Respect.
According to an insider speaking to Us Weekly, the relationship ‘played itself out’ on account of the fact that ‘the distance was too much to handle.’ No yeah no, I totally get that. I mean usually when I start a relationship with the rumored-to-be-gay brother of my best friend, I do it while he’s in LA filming Dancing With The Stars, and I’m in Atlanta filming Vampire Diaries, because I find that’s the best way to get to know someone and build trust.
But I get that that’s not for everybody. I’ve just found that if you see anyone more often than that, you learn all manner of pesky things like “oh I squeeze my toothpaste tube differently than you do” or “you’re a vegetarian, huh?”, or “oh bt-dubs, Nina, you know those rumors that I dated Ryan Seacrest…?” You know. Dangerous stuff like that. Long-distance solves those kinds of revelations every time. Or it’s supposed to! I don’t know what happened.
But don’t worry guys! Julianne Hough isn’t pissed. “Julianne understands — there are no hard feelings.” Maybe not hard feelings persay, but maybe just some firm ones. After all, no one knows better than her the trials and tribulations involved in making a PR-relationship work in the long term. She may not be mad at Nina, but I bet she’s at least disappointed that her bestie couldn’t stick it out long enough to qualify for a break-up mansion.
But at the end of the day, I think we can all admit that Nina and Derek played it exactly right. If you aren’t ready to get engaged after six weeks, then you’re obvi not made for each other, no matter how beneficial it would be for both of your careers. RIP Ninek Dough. (See? Even their name doesn’t work.)