Kim Kardashian has officially forfeited her right to complain about her privacy being invaded for at least seven business days, because she and Kanye West were essentially sexting with each other over the internet last night. You’re famous, I get it, and you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do with your PR-relationship, but I don’t want to hear how the paparazzi is up in your face and you just want to raise North West out of the public eye for a couple minutes, okay? At least not until I can scrub the image of a be-wedgied, side boob-ified Kim from my brain.
Kim sent the above photo to Kanye last night, except she doesn’t trust the postal service or the reception on her cell phone, I guess, because she delivered it via Twitter and Instagram. With the government shut down, it’s just good policy to make sure to leave a paper trail, y’know? That way in case your photo gets scrambled into little bitty bits somehow before it reaches Kanye, thousands upon thousands of people (strangers!) will have already screenshotted it (myself sadly included) and carefully filed it away for possible use in their blogs, cell phone backgrounds, spank banks, etc.
But we needn’t have worried about Kanye receiving it, on account of having the internet wired directly into his brain. I mean how else could he guarantee that he doesn’t miss a single moment of a potential rant or a Twitter feud? But we do definitely know that he received the message from Kim’s ass loud and clear, because he responded:
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 17, 2013
Good, great, you guys. Thank you for the update on Kim’s post-baby body, your own supposed sex life, and the reminder that there was #nofilter on that selfie. I think I could’ve determined that myself based on the fact that there was a full twelve inches of combined butt and sideboob cleavage in it, but I appreciate you clarifying just the same.
Now if you could just install some sort of sensor on your bed so we know when you’re making little South, that would be great. Sorry for being so invasive of your privacy.