What in the world is going on with the Jonas Brothers? They are falling apart before our eyes. I don’t remember the last time a band’s — or simply a celebrity’s — complete undoing was so clear for the world to see. First they canceled their tour at the last minute due to a “deep rift within the band.” Now they’ve deleted their Twitter account. Just poof! It’s gone. Now when you go to the page there’s that sad “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist” message. Pretty soon I’m guessing when you choose to play a Jonas Brothers song on your iPod or phone or computer or even boombox, you’ll get the same message, except instead of “page,” it’ll say “band.”
Since these guys are not only blood relatives but also virginity comrades, there’s a lot more at stake here than just a band. This isn’t like when The
Oneders Wonders broke up and one of them got together with Liv Tyler and everything was okay. This is also family drama. And that’s why you gotta have your relatives sign a contract in blood like the Kardashians (allegedly, in my brain). You can’t let things fall apart like that.
So what could it be that has torn these guys apart? Initially we just assumed it was all Joe Jonas’s fault, because if we’re being honest… it usually is. For every Nick Jonas shirtless selfie or Kevin Jonas pregnancy, there’s a Joe Jonas dance invitation or interview about boobs. Then there’s the fact that he’s been hanging out with an addiction expert, so it could be something more serious, but it seems like a pretty big step to cancel a Twitter account in addition to the tour. Canceling a Twitter account when you’re a celebrity isn’t like canceling your Facebook account when you’re 17 and you’re like, “Ugh, there are too many toxic people in my life” and then you reactivate the account anyway a month later. It sends a message.
But then there’s always the possibility that Danielle Jonas is growing a little Baby Yoko Ono in her belly and he/she (there’s a 50/50 chance, according to Kevin) is tearing the band apart from the privacy of his/her womb chamber. Only time (and more deleted social media) will tell.