• Thu, Oct 17 - 3:46 pm ET

Blind Item Claims That Danielle Jonas Is Faking Her Pregnancy, Which Would Make Sense Since Kevin Jonas Is Faking His Marriage

danielle jonas kevin jonas married to jonas

According to a brand new Blind Gossip exclusive, Danielle Jonas is allegedly faking her pregnancy. That bump you’ve seen is a prosthetic pregnancy belly and that baby you thought was inside of her was actually supposed to be adopted right around the time that she was due. However their plan to adopt apparently fell through and that resulted in them resorting to plan b — faking a miscarriage. The exclusive goes on to say that the entire family is involved on the pregnancy scam, including everyone’s favorite surrogate uncle/producer Ryan Seacrest.

As the Internet’s foremost faux-pregnancy detective, I’ve been on the Danielle Jonas case for months now. Mostly because pregnancy involves a man having sex with a woman. Considering that Kevin Jonas interacts with Danielle Jonas in the same way that a 7-year-old interacts with a girl infected with cooties, I highly doubted that they’d ever had sex. Okay. Fine. Maybe once. By accident.

“Danielle, what are you doing in my bedroom past 9 P.M? And where are your clothes? and my goodness my dear, where is your penis? And why are you coming closer? Oh no, oh no, oh no,  Joe told me about this once. And you know babe, I would love to do this thing, but um, you see, my purity ring is stuck on my finger. Ack! Ack attack! So well, God is watching and you better go back to your room. Skedaddle now”

I can hear you right now accusing me of exaggeration, and fine, I am, maybe a little bit. I’ll admit that I do think Kevin knows that girl penises are tucked in and called vaginas. But I won’t admit to believing that they’re in love with each other. Not after I watched their interactions on Married to Jonas. Never have I ever seen two newlyweds behave more like each other’s acquaintances. While I obviously can’t verify Blind Gossip’s info, I can say that it’s not that outlandish. After all, they wouldn’t be the first couple to fake a pregnancy with pillows.

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  • Alexis Rhiannon

    Danielle and Kevin aren’t newlyweds, they’re newlyfriends.

  • Rachel

    I usually don’t believe Blind Gossip because I’m still waiting for that Joe Jonas sex tape they promised months ago BUT I’ve been very concerned about the way Danielle’s stomach looks giant one day and non-existant the next. So if it is true, not okay.

    • Jenni

      Aren’t we all waiting for that sex tape…..

  • Samantha

    Anyone who watches their reality show knows their really married. They’ve been talking about getting pregnant for a while once her anxiety went down. Stop making this crap up.

    • beea

      It would be “they’re” not “their”. Go back to bed idiot. You are up past your 7:00 bed time.
      Danille Jonas looks like a cross between a horse and a greyhound. Makes my stomach churn to look at her.

    • Kayla

      Um, it would be “their”, exactly as the original poster typed it. “They’re” means THEY ARE. So maybe you should go back to bed?

    • Sundaydrive00

      “Their really married” Really?! That makes better sense to you over “They’re really married”

    • Samantha

      It’s called I had a long day at work. You have nothing better to do than correct people you don’t know. Really?

    • Sundaydrive00

      I guess it was also another long day at work since along with not knowing the difference between “their and “they’re” you also don’t know how to properly reply to the person who was calling you out.

    • KIWI GAL

      whoa gosh it was an honest mistake LET IT GO!!! it’s not as if you haven’t done that before… I can’t believe how many people actually try to make a fight out of it!!! ridiculous!!! see, I haven’t got the right punctuation and all that, are you gonna bully me for that?!? I don’t care… seriously, get your priorities straight :/

    • Sundaydrive00

      You’re the one responding to a comment from 4 months ago, and you’re telling ME to let it go and to get MY priorities straight?!

      Umm… okay.

    • not

      And what?? Your brain crashes?? You learn how to write…at what age? So you know…I am not an US citizen..I live in Europe…and I know how to write in YOUR native language better than you and I just came from my office.

    • not

      They don t look very smart…for me he looks like a woman and she looks like a dog…they look fake all over…Empty discussions…rigid talks…her s anxiety attacks…that empty and stupid look on their faces…Very bad movie.

  • Desi

    I think she looks like that Farrah abramsonperson, the one who did a porn with some famous porn star, James deen or other.

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    • Alexis Rhiannon

      They totally do look similar!

  • Pushkin

    How can the people at Blind Gossip print this if it’s not true? Wouldn’t Kevin and Danielle have a case for libel? That being said, I sooo hope this is true. Maybe then the general public would get a clue that reality shows are anything but that, and they’ll start to go the way of the dinosaurs.

  • tracy

    Let’s hope they don’t reproduce. She is the homeliest woman/man I have ever seen. Her face looks like a Nixon mask. That would be ONE UGLY kid! And he just has to be gay to even touch that triple bagger!

    • Jenni

      Those insults are not necessary at all.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      They are if beauty is your number one priority and number 2,3,4,& 5 priority.

    • Sundaydrive00

      This article is nothing but insults. Is it really a surprise that the insults were carried down into the comments section?

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  • Burp

    I just read the blind report about them faking a stillbirth! I really hope this isn’t true! My niece was stillborn and it still hurts me to think about it, so if they’re faking this they need their heads checked.

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  • Hill

    I found it so odd the day they announced, they had an e intv and 2-3 months later she was not showing. Even e was like oh look here she is showing. I went wtf where. Obv women pop but idk it feels off. Also that exercise pic ultrasound pic. She is despicable heThem if true. Joe is on drugs. . Wtf is going on.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      It’s a lot to take in.

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  • Rose Davignon

    What is the motivation for faking a pregnancy??? Why not just say you are adopting or using a surrogate?? Like Giuliana Rancic?

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  • KIWI GAL

    wow on one hand I believe the Jonas family… but on the other this is SOLID proof… the again, i’ll believe anything

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