I really want to meet this Molly girl Miley Cyrus is always singing about. We’ve already established that she enjoys dancing with people, which is a total plus when it comes to picking a friend to hang out with. Even if she dances like Elaine Benes, it’s great for entertainment value. I was already interested in meeting her right there, but now Miley is teasing us even more by singing about Molly on the new remix of the French Montana song “Ain’t Worried About Nothin’” that premiered yesterday. Wow, Miley can’t stop talking about this girl. She’s like, in love with her or something.
Okay, just kidding. I know Molly isn’t a fun-loving girl Miley enjoys hanging out with but is in fact a party drug also known as MDMA, an ingredient in ecstasy pills. I have a professional drug slang interpreter on hand 24/7 for a reason, my friends. Here’s what Miley had to say about good old Molly this time around: “Pop a Molly and you know you know you’ll never stop. You think I’m turnt up wait until my album drops.” Bonus points for referencing the first song Molly made a cameo in, as well as plugging the album that song appears on. It’s very meta, and also very business-conscious.
But let’s be real here. She might say it’s her mouth and she can say what she wants to, but she should at least think about what those words are before she says them. There are a lot of things Miley Cyrus does that people disapprove of or wish would just stop, but for me one of the most problematic ones is her cavalier attitude toward drug use. We know she’s not Hannah Montana anymore. She’s made that abundantly clear. But there are plenty of people in the world who are not and have never been Hannah Montana who don’t use or sing about drugs. And nobody’s going up to them saying, “You don’t do drugs? What are you, Hannah Montana?” Miley’s got nothing to worry about in that department.
The only pill Miley needs to be popping is a chill pill.