It wouldn’t be Monday morning if we didn’t spend a good portion of it talking about celebrities and sex. Or so Lena Dunham once whispered to me from an adjacent bathroom stall in a bar with no name. While we don’tÂ needÂ a reason to talk about celebrities and sex, I’d still like to give you one.You know, just in case your boss sees you reading this and is all, “um, why aren’t you analyzing that spreadsheet I sent you?” You can be like, “um, because it’s Usher’s 35th birthday and it would be disrespectful not to talk about his sex life on his birthday. DUH!”Â So with that excuse in mind, let’s talk about 14 celebrities who would be great at sex.
Have you ever listened to his music? It’s putting words to sex. “Oh wow,” you often think when you listen to this music, “this isÂ exactlyÂ what I was thinking when I had sex last year.”
2. Halle Berry
It’s clinically impossible for two beautiful human beings to have bad sex. That’s science kids. And considering that Halle Berry only seems to date beautiful human beings, it’s safe to assume that she’s never experienced mediocre sex. I’m sure her 1-10 “how was that” rating system goes from “insanely awesome” to mindblowingly amazing.”
3. Michael Fassbender
While a big penis isn’t essential to having good sex, it’s certainly comes in handy at times. And there’s certainly noÂ shameÂ in admitting that. (I know, I know, you can send me a virtual high five at your leisure.)
4. Mila Kunis
Because if you can pull off sexy when you’re doing a walk of shame in sweatsÂ whileÂ standing next to Ashton Kutcher, you can do anything. Including, but not limited to, having superb sex.
5. Channing Tatum
There’s nothing magic about these moves ladies!Â Before he was Channing Tatum, he was Chan Crawford — a professional air-humping extraordinaire.
6. Natalie Portman
Because she’s smart and she’s sophisticated and there’s no reason to think her sex wouldn’t be the same. She’d be all like, “I remembering reading a study at Harvard about men liking this, so I will do this, and then we will read my favorite excerpts fromÂ The Canterbury TalesÂ while sipping this vintage white wine.”
7. Paul Walker
While there’s always the chance that he’d be fast and furious, I have a feeling that he wouldn’t. But that could just be the 7th grade girl who lives inside of me talking. The one that girl right, the one who truly thought he’d be the next big thing…if someone would just give him chance.
8. Megan Fox
She exudes sex. To the point that I’m pretty sure that she’s followed around with a mop and bucket just to wipe all the sex exude from the floor.
9. Ian Somerhalder
Let’s just go ahead and assume that he can sex just as well as he can smolder. Which is equal parts alluring and alarming.
Have you ever seen her dance? Enough said.
11. Ryan Gosling
Because, duh. He’s Ryan Gosling. Obviously he’d be good at sex. Which would only be in addition to being good at taking you on an amazing date first and giving you an amazing spooning sesh afterward.
12. Eva Mendes
While I don’t doubt that she sexed well before sexing Ryan Gosling, I also don’t doubt that having sex with him once improved her skills tenfold. He’s like Midas. Except everything he touches turns into sex.
13. Hugh Jackman
He’s good at every thing he does, so there’s no reason to think that sex wouldn’t be listed on his resume too. Can’t you see it now? Right in between singin’ and dancin’, there would be sexin’.
As if she wouldn’t get into bed and kill it every. single. time.