• Fri, Oct 11 - 12:13 pm ET

Selena Gomez Gives Lorde The Sweetest Backhanded Compliment Ever

selena gomez shut up

Someone, quickly find a big box! We need to mail Selena Gomez an award for what she said about Lorde in a recent radio interview. Not because what she said was nice or because we liked it, but because the winner of the week’s most backhanded compliment contest always receives a congratulatory trophy. While we’re super excited to share her shade with you, we first need to catch you on up on what led to this classic B.H.C.

So here goes: there’s a war brewing in the teen singing scene.  It’s dramatic and it’s emotional and it’s dark. Literally dark. That’s just a natural result of so much shade being thrown around during the day.  Two weeks ago, Lorde got quoted in an interview as saying that Taylor Swift was a bad role model for girls. She later clarified that statement to say that’s now what she meant. But in between the interview and the clarification, people got really heated defending one or the other. And by people, we mean Crushable. It should go without saying that we were on Team Lorde — ever after Lorde left Team Lorde.

Then today, Taylor Swift’s BFF Selena Gomez got asked what she thought about the recent Lorde drama on 99.5 and she responded like a middle school girl. If a middle school girl talked about feminism.

“I appreciate everybody’s opinion, especially because I’ve covered her music lots of times. I think she is super talented and I think it’s awesome. But I think at the same time that feminism and that specific thing is very sensitive because in my opinion it’s not feminism if you’re tearing down another artist. So that’s the only thing that I feel but you know, she’s young, she’s got so much talent, she’s gonna take over, she gets it, so I don’t take it to heart”

While I have to give her a hand for sandwiching an insult in between two compliments, I also have to say that she’s wrong. Feminism is not refraining from criticizing someone because she’s a woman. It’s refraining from differentiating between men and women and acknowledging that they’re equal in every single way. They should be rewarded the same way and criticized in the same way. Giving a woman a free pass for being a woman doesn’t further feminism in any way. It’s just a way to distract people from what someone said. “She hates me and I am a woman and therefore she is a woman-hater,” turns the conversation around so quickly that people often forget what the original point was. As a site that’s often accused of being anti-feminist for not liking certain females, this (horrible) definition of feminism hits pretty close to home.

Then again, I should look on the upside. There are women at war right now and we’re still waiting for one to weigh in. Taylor, it’s your move.

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  • Lucy

    I wholeheartedly agree with you in that Selena doesn’t correctly understand the concept of feminism. Also I feel for Lorde as I heard the radio interview live and she started of by saying she loved the song come and get it, and then stated that she couldn’t get behind the message of it. SHe also criticised robin thicke song but no-one published that quote because popular culture loves to pit female artists and stars against each other. She ended up concluding that the entertainment industry is the lasts basteon of sexism, and that ultimately to enjoy the music you have to forget the lyrical content of the song and just enjoy it on a sonic level.

    • Jenni

      I think Lorde’s an awesome addition to the music scene and I’m excited to see her do more.

    • hoodoo

      sooooo exciting! proper inspiration for aspring singer/songwriters.

  • anon

    While I do agree that Selena probably doesn’t really get feminism either, there has been a rise in the type of feminism where women think they can tell women “you can’t do that because it makes us seem less equal to men” and honestly, that’s what kind of feminism Lorde seems to be pushing.

    • Jay Dee

      I agree. I feel like feminism is more about equality and women having the choice to do what they want, so I don’t like when people claim to be feminists by admonishing women who choose “traditional gender roles” or things like that, and Lorde’s comments about other artists and have seemed a lot like that. I think there’s nothing wrong with women playing into traditional gender roles if they CHOOSE (an informed choice mind you) to do so, and do not feel pressured or forced to, or have never had any experience of anything else. And I understand Lorde’s issue with come and get it, but I don’t think it was intended to perpetuate a subservient stereotype about women, I think it was more supposed to be about a woman exploring her own sexuality but I may be wrong. Either way even though Selena’s comment missed the mark a little (a lot actually), and I agree that feminism doesn’t mean you can’t ever criticise other women, I do think as a true feminist you shouldn’t dictate what other women do if YOU believe it makes women seem lesser to men because it kind of negates the point. Instead of being dictated by men, women seem to judge and dictate each other and I hate to see that.

    • Daniel21

      You are right! And it is a pretty new phenomenon. I think it’s partly because of the Internet and all the gossip, even news sites. There is this new kind of “feminism” on the Internet that just attacks other women. There often is no truth to what they say. The gossip sites create an echo chamber where lies are told and won’t go away. Like it is constantly said Taylor Swift said she is not a feminist, yet she never said it. I think there are women today who call themselves feminists and expect other women should live by THEIR rules.

      My guess is Selena may have been thinking that she and other young female performers support each other, and don’t criticize. In that sense, a kind of feminist sisterhood, especially against the nonstop sexist media attacks. Sexism on the Internet is something I’ve been studying. I think I write too much, but the inequality angers me at times.

  • lajya

    you know, if a man sang something along the lines of waiting for a girl, putting their life on hold for her and going to that girl when she finally wants him, I’m sure people wouldn’t think twice about it, nor would he get criticism OR praise. so if a woman sings that way, why all the hullabaloo? why does the concept of feminism HAVE to come between almost everything a woman in the limelight does? now that’s double standards and discrimination.

    • Daniel21

      I wrote a very long and confusing comment after yours. You made a very important point I wish I would’ve. I may have sounded too harsh about Lorde. I just had this strong feeling that what she said about Selena was all wrong. You clarified my confused thoughts. I agree with you totally.
      Another thought I didn’t express well is that this site itself is sexist because it treats women differently than men, it’s like they want a feud between these three. I also was glad Swift called out the media for being sexist, always tearing down successful women. Something like that–you’d expect this site to report and praise!
      Anyway, thank you for your very smart and spot on comment.

    • Michelle Kirkwood

      Because you won’t find a guy singing a song like that to begin with, most of the time. The point being that, young girls don’t need to hear that kind of outdated,sexist crap telling them to put their lives aside for a boy or a man, which women and young girls in general have had shoved into their brains for ages.

      You seriously have it twisted when you mentioned “double standards and discrimination”. Obviously you don’t understand what feminism actually means–it’s simply the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men–it’s not THAT hard to understand. It’s not about how anyone is singing, it’s about what THIS particular song is about, and the kind of message it’s putting out, plain and simple. That’s all it’s about—get your facts straight,please.

    • The L

      Michelle Kirkwood here are a few of the songs where men are sitting waiting and sometimes begging for women’s affections:
      The promise – when in rome
      can’t fight this feeling – REO speedwagon
      Every little thing she does is magic – The Police
      Your love – the outfield
      waiting for a girl like you – foreigner
      You’re beautiful – Jame Blunt
      Invisible touch – Genesis
      true – Spandau ballet
      all out of love – air supply
      (to a degree) no one like you – scorpions
      right on track – breakfast club (takes place on a dance floor)
      That’s just to name a few. So you’re clearly mistaken…try again…

  • Daniel21

    Lorde originally said Taylor Swift wasn’t a good role model because she’s “too perfect”. And that because she’s too perfect, she makes girls feel bad about themselves. Stupidest comment I’ve heard in months, since Swift is so often dissed for her looks–too tall, too skinny. Funny teeth. Squinty eyes, small eyes, even on this site recently–robo eyes or something dumb? For her choice in men, etc. and didn’t Lorde diss Justin Bieber, too?? Lorde the feminist does like Miley though. Hmmm…
    Why do I have this funny feeling Lorde has been dissing everyone within her general age range in order for all of us to realize what a wonderful role model SHE is. She hasn’t dissed anyone older, like Lady Gaga.

    Famous performers don’t usually criticize each other, its like they have a politeness rule. Miley Cyrus got criticism from older performers, but not her age peers I don’t think. In fact I think Selena Gomez publicly supported Miley when she was getting so much heat. . And it’s pretty much agreed that some comments Taylor Swift made in an interview were in defense of Miley, at least over 100 sites thought so.
    So I think the general idea is that Lorde shouldn’t be dissing other performers. Because the music business would be an unhappy place if performers started criticizing other performers and songs of theirs they didn’t like.
    Selena made her remark about feminism. In feminist history, theres this idea that women form a sisterhood and support each other. Taylor recently made a remark that of course wouldn’t be reported by a gossip site like this. She was critical of the way the media always has to tear down successful women. All the “yeah but”s” stuff, “yeah but she dates to many guys” or yeah but, she’s crazy. She said as a woman, she resented it.
    This site and others make your money from gossiping about women a lot. You seem to love it that there might be a feud between Lorde, Selena and Taylor. So instead of supporting women, you like gossip and feuds about women.
    Crushable treats women different than man in the way you gossip about women!. That’s what Taylor Swift was criticising about the media! That’s called sexism! I think that’s a feminist criticism of the media and more important than what Lorde said. Why don’t you report how Taylor called out the media? Because you treat women differently than the way you do men.
    So Taylor Swift made a strong feminist statement that called out the media and it’s sexist treatment of women. I bet this site never reported THAT, did you?

    • hoodoo

      “she’s entitled to her opinion” would have sufficed, even been perfect…inoffensive, diplomatic and mature. but oh no, girls got an ego to feed, so instead she went on about supporting women, compliments lorde then disses her?! selena just makes an idiot out of herself with her non-rants.

  • hoodoo

    100% spot on crushable. lorde is the type of artist selena wishes she was: cool, naturally smart, a gifted songwriter complete with wide range appeal. but poor mans britney will have to do.

    lordes criticisms were not aimed at selena or her artistic abilities (not that theres much of that) selena isnt used to people not worshipping her. shes used to being pandered to and told just how perfect and amazing she is, certainly not used to being challenged or criticised by her own peers. lordes objection was that selena’s song “come and get it” was sending the wrong message to young girls. not rocket science and she had every right to speak up about it.

    she speaks of having “morals” somewher too. erm not only did she take two swipes at lorde but she gave false praise as well, which is just as insulting. so she clearly was not standing by her own definition of feminism, that is of “supporting other women” or having morals (such as telling the truth). she often contradicts herself and talks alot of crap anyway so this isnt surprising at all. ive always said that its no suprise she is bffs with taylor, birds of a feather flock together. she got her “women-support-women-but-if-they-diss-my-ass-they-hate woman” attitude is reminiscient of taylors “theres a special place in hell for women like that” thing for tina fey & amy pohler. taylor is still much better with words than this dimwit. at least taylor is funny. epic rebuttal from ts coming soon.

    • Jenni

      I really do hope that the rebuttal is epic!

    • The L

      I like Royals quite a bit (though derivative), I also enjoy Come n get it. That said, Lorde ripping off MIA’s sound makes her a better artist? I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion, but if it helps you sleep at night….

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  • Allie

    Apparently, Lorde had also said to Selena that her song ” Come and get it” is anti feminist because Selena is telling young girls to wait by the phone for a boy to call which shows girls that they are worth less than guys. Girls should know that they are worthy of finding a guy who cares enough to want to be with them rather than sitting around waiting for a guy to decide that he wants to “come and get it.” I agree. While being a Selenator, I really like Lorde. I think she is right on that part. I love both Selena and Lorde, but in this case – well, you can call me Team Lorde.

    • The L

      As I mentioned above, men have been writing and singing the same exact songs as Selena’s Come n Get It for years. I listed a few as well…what difference does it make who is sitting by the phone. People do that, it’s a fact of life, and everyone who thinks it just women by the phone and it should be hidden, kind of needs to reevaluate their definition of reality.

  • Guest

    both are wack

  • Anonym

    I hate Lorde
    SELENATOR 4EVER

  • Anonym

    In Danish lorde means ugly
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Anonym

    Selena just tries to be a sweet/good girl!
    She wins over haters she es so amazin!!!

  • Anonym

    She have a instagram for her fans!!!!
    She takes pictures with her fans every concert!!!!
    She’s donating money to Unicef!!!!
    Why hate her??

  • The L

    A coupe of things: 1) It’s assumed that Come n get it is about sex. Absolutely could be, absolutely. It could also be about love in general. I think we should ASK Selena what she was singing about specifically before we hate on her. If it is about sex, well then, I would concede that Lorde nailed it. If it’s about sitting around waiting for affections to be returned, both men and women do this and there is nothing anti feminist about this.
    2) Selena seems to be saying that the actions of slamming another artist are not the best ways to go about PRACTICING feminism. You can’t slam an artist and then boom, you’re a feminist. That is what I took away from Selena Gomez’s comment.
    So take that as you may. Is Come n get it about sex or love? Are you a feminist if all you do is slam artists about what they sing about or do you have to do more?
    We certainly don’t have all of the information we need to make an educated judgment about either of these two women.

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  • sonoran

    So Lorde had a similar situation happen to her: A feminist columnist criticized the lyrics of “Royals” saying it was racist since it singled out hip-hop music.

    What was Lorde’s reaction? She said that when she hears this type of criticism from someone she respects she pays attention, and while she thought the columnist was cherry-picking the lyric; since part of the lyrics were clearly referring to Rock and Pop music excesses, she might have been able to express herself better than she did.

    In other words she reacted like someone who actually has a brain and emotional maturity beyond what you’d expect from a 7 year old, unlike Ms. Gomez.

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