I need you kids to put on your earmuffs, okay? Because there are some pretty hardcore swear words ahead, and I don’t want you learning anything inappropriate from the internet, y’know? Okay, I warned you. Here we go. Taylor Swift was apparently overheard at a party discussing Miley Cyrus‘ performance at the VMAs this year. I KNOW. SHOCKING. But it’s only because that’s how everyone in the world has been spending their evenings for the past month, and she didn’t want to be left out.
The party that Taylor was attending was in Toronto, at the Soho House, which is a relief, because with the kind of language she was dropping, we’re lucky she was outside the country. According to a source at Life & Style, Taylor called Miley’s extremely controversial performance both ‘disgusting’ and…wait for it…’grotesque’. Oh man. I’m sorry I had to write that. It’s such a tough word, but as a journalist, I felt like you needed to be aware of the severity of the situation.
Because that is literally the worst curse word that Taylor Swift knows, remember? This is a girl who when you foolishly thought she was saying ‘shut the eff up’ to One Direction and Harry Styles, was actually saying ‘sorry for my arm’. YOU FOOLS. An f-bomb would never cross those lips; any imbecile could tell you that. I trust you’ll be more cautious in the future, and take Taylor seriously when she delves into the deepest, meanest corners of her vocabulary like she did to dredge up a word like ‘grotesque’.
Which, if I’m being honest? Is actually really fitting. Props to Taylor for really nailing it, adjective-wise. Assuming this is true, which I really hope it is. But naturally, Taylor’s people are claiming that it isn’t, with her rep releasing the following statement:
“The party at the Soho House was very crowded and loud, and Taylor was seated at a private booth. You had to practically shout at somebody for them to even hear what you were saying in that room, so the very idea that anybody would have “overheard” anything at that party is far-fetched, at best.”
But far-fetched is where I hang my hat, rep of Taylor. Far-fetched is the name of my rustic log cabin where I laze in front of the fire and sip my brandy. I’m never happier than when I’m relaxing in Far Fetched.
(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)