• Thu, Oct 10 - 9:44 am ET

Taylor Swift Calls Miley ‘Grotesque’, Which In Fairness Is The Worst Swear She Knows

Taylor Swift attending the premiere of Romeo and Juliet September 2013I need you kids to put on your earmuffs, okay? Because there are some pretty hardcore swear words ahead, and I don’t want you learning anything inappropriate from the internet, y’know? Okay, I warned you. Here we go. Taylor Swift was apparently overheard at a party discussing Miley Cyrus‘ performance at the VMAs this year. I KNOW. SHOCKING. But it’s only because that’s how everyone in the world has been spending their evenings for the past month, and she didn’t want to be left out.

The party that Taylor was attending was in Toronto, at the Soho House, which is a relief, because with the kind of language she was dropping, we’re lucky she was outside the country. According to a source at Life & StyleTaylor called Miley’s extremely controversial performance both ‘disgusting’ and…wait for it…’grotesque’. Oh man. I’m sorry I had to write that. It’s such a tough word, but as a journalist, I felt like you needed to be aware of the severity of the situation.

Because that is literally the worst curse word that Taylor Swift knows, remember? This is a girl who when you foolishly thought she was saying ‘shut the eff up’ to One Direction and Harry Styles, was actually saying ‘sorry for my arm’. YOU FOOLS. An f-bomb would never cross those lips; any imbecile could tell you that. I trust you’ll be more cautious in the future, and take Taylor seriously when she delves into the deepest, meanest corners of her vocabulary like she did to dredge up a word like ‘grotesque’.

Which, if I’m being honest? Is actually really fitting. Props to Taylor for really nailing it, adjective-wise. Assuming this is true, which I really hope it is. But naturally, Taylor’s people are claiming that it isn’t, with her rep releasing the following statement:

“The party at the Soho House was very crowded and loud, and Taylor was seated at a private booth. You had to practically shout at somebody for them to even hear what you were saying in that room, so the very idea that anybody would have “overheard” anything at that party is far-fetched, at best.”

But far-fetched is where I hang my hat, rep of Taylor. Far-fetched is the name of my rustic log cabin where I laze in front of the fire and sip my brandy. I’m never happier than when I’m relaxing in Far Fetched.

(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)

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  • RFK64

    I got lost in the maze of this article. What is your point?
    … and what is your source for stating that a Taylor Swift rep released a statement?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      The Hollywood Life article that I cited in the post.

  • apurva

    its a funny, satirical article, but just that one point you brought up about the shut the eff up is wrong. she DID say fuck, because we all do, but she said that to selena gomez who said that she was going to lose come and get it to miley cyrus. ed sheeran cleared it up in an interview..so yeah! :)

    • Apurva

      what?! hahaha i meant she said she was gonna lose the award to miley cyrus xD

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Ah, gotcha! Thanks

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  • Ernest Stuart

    I love Taylor Swift when she was younger and sweet…I love her songs..but she is becoming bitter and more bitch as time goes by…lack of love ???? she is just bored…

    • Bruce

      You read the screed of the BS bloggers instead of what she actually does, Ernest.

  • Bruce

    I mourn for all the poor bloggers who can’t find an actual flaw in Taylor’s behavior. Her vocabulary is actually extremely vast and her knowledge of history deep, but those aren’t one line shock news. Grotesque is believable and appropriate describing Ms. Smiley Virus and her lunatic need to be the most sloppy slut act in music.