Anonymous J-Law Family Member Defends Her Weight — I Suspect Josh Hutcherson

Josh Hutcherson Jennifer Lawrence Liam Hemsworth attending Hunger Games London premiere March 2012As a self-styled investigative blog-alist, which is basically the blogging, detective version of a journalist, I think I may have just solved a mystery that no one is interested in but me. Success! Elementary! Eureka!

Although he’s long resisted succumbing to my daydreams and just dating Jennifer Lawrence already, Josh Hutcherson is a very vocal fan of her. So much so that it’s keeping my fantasy alive, and I have to repeatedly remind myself that life isn’t like The Parent Trap, and even if I found someone who was somehow identical to me, we still wouldn’t be able to trick J-Law and J-Hutch into getting together. Whomp whomp.

BUT. I think Josh is becoming aware of the fact that we get our hopes up every time he mentions the name Jennifer, and he’s taking his membership card in the J-Law Admiration Society and going underground so he doesn’t lead us on anymore. Don’t you think? What other explanation is there for the fact that  an anonymous family member just gave a statement to Radar Online defending Jen’s weight and supporting those excellent statement she made about telling people to go eff themselves when they asked her to go on a diet?

“This was very admirable, we are proud of her. Jennifer is so down to earth and she is a positive role model for young people. Jennifer will never change, she is so normal and sweet and was in good spirits. We are all very proud and protective of her and it was great to spend time with Jennifer because she is very hardworking and busy.”

All great things, right? So why did it come from an anonymous source? Because you know Josh was sitting in that interview, adjusting his porkpie hat and twirling his stick on mustache and saying, “Uh, yeah, tell her that her family said that. The name’s Lawrence, Sarah Lawrence, no relation. I mean some relation. Yes, I am her family. And no, it’s not a real mustache. I mean yes, it’s a mustache, my name is Sarah. I’m a mustachioed Sarah and I’m going to find a time machine and start a university! Or…you know what? This is getting really complicated. Can you just leave it anonymous?”

(Image: Lia Toby / WENN.com)

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    • Olivia Wilson

      Josh has been perfecting his plan on how to give Jen double the support has finally been put into action. Amazing.

    • shelly

      The fans shipping Josh and Jennifer amuse me. It’s understandable why they’d think they make a cute couple but it’s never going to happen. Jennifer is too ga-ga over her boyfriend, she couldn’t wait to get back together with him and Josh keeps dating other actresses. It’s not happening. Ever.