• Wed, Oct 9 - 9:39 am ET

Lea Michele Says She Lost Two People, Cory And Finn, And I’m Officially Uncomfortable

Lea Michele on location shooting Glee September 2013I want to be very careful how I discuss this, because I would never presume to judge how one person mourns for another, but something about the way that Lea Michele is discussing the death of Cory Monteith is making me very uncomfortable. I can’t imagine how impossibly difficult it must be to cope with the death of a significant other — especially when it comes from as far out of left field as Cory’s overdose did — but I don’t think that putting the loss of Cory on the same level as the loss of his Glee character Finn Hudson is clarifying anything for anybody. But here’s what Lea had to say to TV Week Australia:

“For me personally, I’ve lost two people: Cory and Finn. We had a beautiful memorial for Cory in the auditorium and some of the cast members sang and people spoke about him. It only felt right that we would do the same thing for Finn, so I felt it was very therapeutic.”

See, I don’t know. That doesn’t feel right to me. Finn Hudson wasn’t real, he was a character that Cory played. One of the people you lost was your boyfriend and rumored soon-to-be-fiance, and the other was a make-believe character he played. Those aren’t the same, for me, and to suggest that they are feels disrespectful to Cory’s memory. But blurring the lines between him and his character is exactly what I was worried about when I watched the promo last week for tomorrow night’s tribute episode.

“Everyone is asking: ‘Is it hard to do this? Is it hard to be back at work?’ But the truth is it’s no harder at work than it is in life, so we might as well all be together as a family supporting each other to get through this together.”

I’m really glad that the cast has each other and everything, but I think the danger is when work starts to feel like life and life starts to feel like work. How can you tell when you’re in character grieving for a McKinley High graduate versus being yourself, grieving for a cast mate and friend? I just feel like it adds complicating layers onto the tragedy to ask these kids to mourn for their friend on camera and pretend like it’s for the character and then let people watch. It feels exploitative.

I guess if it helps with the healing process, then what do I know? But it definitely gives me the heebie-jeebies.

The tribute episode, which is called ‘The Quarterback’, airs tomorrow night at 9:00 EST on FOX.

(Image: WENN.com)

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  • gayle

    I have to agree with you that the lead up to this episode is making me
    uncomfortable. In most stories I see Cory and Finn are being treated as
    interchangeable and one of them is FICTIONAL. I want to give Glee the
    benefit of the doubt because this has to be an impossibly difficult
    situation but I worry they are reverting back to their tendency to
    exploit storylines.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yes. Yes yes yes. That’s totally my point. They aren’t interchangeable. Very well said.

  • Jordan Connatser

    Okay, this article is ridiculous. Lea Michele played Rachel on the show Glee. I’m not sure you know that. When you play a character on a television show, you become invested in that character and the relationships that are formed throughout. This is not creepy or weird. You saying that is disrespectful to his memory. Everyone lost Cory Monteith but we also lost Finn and that is what she is trying to say. She lost her boyfriend in the real world but she also lost her co-star and best friend on the show. Everything is going to be different for her now. Not only is she having to adjust to this loss outside the show but she also has to start getting used to the fact that the her character on the show has suffered a huge loss and that is something she is struggling with as well. You should respect her comments and not judge her for how she feels. I cannot imagine how I would deal with losing someone that close to me. Someone I was used to seeing every single day. It’s tough

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I do know that she played Rachel. But the person she hung out with on set who was her co-star and best friend was a human being, not a fictional character, and he should be remembered as such.

    • Jordan Connatser

      As he will be. Why is it they are doing a tribute again? Oh yeah, to honor the character Finn for not only the fans but for cast members and friends. I’ve read that the character Finn is much like Monteith himself, and doing a tribute on national television is a way for a lot of us to let go of a character we loved and the amazing actor who played him. I respect your opinion, I just don’t understand why it would make you uncomfortable for the person closest to him to feel as if she lost two people. Some of us fans feel the same way.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I can respect that, I just don’t want his character to become more important than the man himself. That’s my worry.

  • Christy in Philly

    I think of this much the way I did when John Spencer died and they had the funeral for Leo McGarry on the West Wing. The actors lost their friend and every time I watch that episode, I sob, thinking that some of their tears probably weren’t acting– they were real tears for their friend, John. I think it’s a really hard thing to separate, especially for people who play the same characters for years. Also, while the characters are kids, the actors aren’t- I don’t think that they are being exploited.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      That’s fair. I guess maybe I feel like I’m being exploited, as an audience member, being asked to share my emotions about Cory the actor dying with my feelings about Finn the fictional character dying.

  • wtf

    How judgmental. Nothing about her statement was weird or off. You just look like an asshole.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Pretty sure I said it felt weird to ME, not to everyone. You’re welcome to disagree, but thanks for calling me an asshole!

  • Alana

    I feel like she is saying that to press to kind of separate herself from having to mourn publicly. She probably doesn’t want to mourn Cory publicly or talk about him to the public, and so its easier to make it about Finn and kind of put an end to questions she doesn’t want to and shouldn’t have to answer. Obviously, she’s not going to tell the press everything and is going to put on a very practiced face/act, and is probably keeping the vast majority of her feelings very private.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I hope so.

  • MonicaProwl

    YES YES YES I agree. because most of this episode is not acting. I don’t like looking at people when they cry because I sure don’t like it when people look at me when I cry.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      It feels very invasive to me.

    • Rachel Monroe

      Rachel though seems to be in the episode very little probably exactly for that reason. This is hardly the first time a show has had to blur these lines but I have to respect they cast and crew trying to give Finn a proper send off.

  • Beth

    If there is any truth to the rumors hat her romantic relationship with Cory was a publicity stunt, it doesnt seem so weird she puts her personal relationship and her onscreenrelationship on the same epage.

    • elle

      I thought the same thing. There were rumors of a fauxlationship for a long time and when I read that quote it is exactly what I thought of.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      It definitely brings that to the forefront of my mind.

    • emily

      why are you even entertaining these comments when the only source was blind gossip? The people in these comments have a different agenda when they write these things

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yeah. That would make sense. I just really don’t want it to be true.

    • Rachel Monroe

      oh stop that is ridocusl. All the cast has talked aobut losing Cory and losing Finn. Why became they are invested in their characters . When they stop playing a character they feel a lost for that too.

  • LolzYes

    No one else has heard the rumor that the relationship was manufactured? Really? Because I’ve heard this from a few sources and it makes more sense to me.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I’ve heard it, but it’s a tough thing to bring up in the wake of a tragedy like this.

    • emily

      the only source that posted it was blind gossip and achele fans. Blind gossip constantly tries to profit off scandals they also said Chord was Heather’s baby daddy which isn’t true

  • Kay

    “I would never presume to judge how one person mourns for another”

    then you proceed to. The faux-”I must be very careful” at the beginning of this post was so annoying.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Again, as I’ve responded to other commenters — all I’ve discussed in the post is my own personal response to the tribute episode. I’ve said that it made ME uncomfortable, and that I worry about blurring the lines between the real man and his fictional character.

      You seem to disagree, and that’s fine.

  • Dave

    Well I for one don’t understand how exactly what she said could come off as being weird then again that’s just me, as the character Rachel Berry and Lea Michele I can understand where she’s coming from in terms of saying she lost both Cory and Finn. As for people complaining about it being exploitative it’s the most frustrating thing ever to it and watch the fans of both Glee as well Cory complain about how Cory should be honored. Fans/general audience complain about giving Cory/Finn the send of he deserves, now that Glee is giving a tribute episode one would think people would be thankful that his co-stars/friends are all coming together to honor this wonderful man. I kind of feel like people as usual have to go out of their way to find minuscule things to find fault with, now i’d like to think the show didn’t have to honor or put on a tribute ep, they could have just go on and pretend Finn Hudson was off somewhere doing something furthermore being forgotten from the show instead their highlighting this wonderful man why can’t we be grateful instead of looking for something to complain about. Only Lea knows why she made the statement of stating she not only lost both Finn and Cory I don’t understand why the statement has to be taken out of context to pick apart over-analyze. Also I find it a bit funny to think people would believe there was a faux relationship, it’s not unusual for co-stars on the same show to date, i’m pretty sure Lea and Cory won’t be the last. Implying the relationship was false would also mean that everyone involving with Glee down to the family and friends involved are all showing face all for the sake of keeping up a tv show. Might I add it look a little bit weird that the mother of the decease invited the suppose fake girlfriend at his private memorial over his own father. Anyways to each is own, lords knows gossip magazines have nothing better to do with their time than create drama, and we unsuspected individuals are always eating whats being spewed to us.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Yeah I’m glad it’s not my job to decide how to handle the tribute episode. I’m just expressing my thoughts about it.

  • Haley

    She wasn’t there to discuss her personal life. It was a Glee panel. I am assuming from the other panel members’ responses, there was a question asked about the upcoming episode, and she gave an answer.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Good to know.

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  • alex

    Yes!!! It does feel exploitative, and I can’t seem to get my point across when I speak my mind about this and I’m glad you did. I can’t be the one to judge how they choose to deal with the loss of a friend and a coworker, but there is such a thing as a wrong way of going about it on the show. Now I don’t know how they will explain Finn’s death but I don’t trust Glee with taking the respectful route with these things, and I’m terrified that we’ll find out Finn had a secret drug problem. THAT is blurring the lines to the point where it’s disrespectful to the memory of a REAL person with a REAL problem. Secondly, I feel so uncomfortable that we’re gonna watch the genuine reactions of the actors to the loss of their loved one, but under the pretense of a ‘script’. It’s just… Why do we need that? Why not make an hour long special about Cory’s life and have the actors remember him and sing about him? Ugh, Glee.

  • emily

    This interview wasn’t supposed to be personal and I’m glad she didn’t make it very personal. It’s pretty terrible to even imply that their relationship was manufactured when they were together for two years and the only people who implied that are blind gossip who also said that Chord Overstreet was Heather Morris’ baby daddy. I think she was trying to say that Finn was a big part of her life in pertaining to the show. At this interview she was speaking as a professional not as a girlfriend.

    • Rachel Monroe

      BI also has been exploiting the whole death of Cory, all of a sudden it has all these stories about glee cast members when they have hardly mention them before. Just a hack web site taking advantage of the tribute.

    • emily

      exactly they constantly try to take advantage of scandals or tragedy

  • anonny

    “The Forever Fake Couple Lie” MONFAKE!!! AKAKAKAKAKA http://blindgossip.com/?p=56853

  • miller

    It’s also problematic how she brushed off his addiction, saying it’s just a small part of him. Addiction is a serious issue, especially when it killed the guy.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Absolutely. She’s not obligated to share those feelings with the world, but since she is, I think it might behoove her to be more aware of what she’s saying.

  • Misenhammer

    Damn, people sure are mad and yelling at you in a very unnecessary way.

    I get their feelings, and I get your feelings, and bits of me agree with both… It’s complex! I can see how her response could feel weird and appear to blur the line between fictional Finn and real Corey. I can see how it could also be a heartfelt professional statement that wasn’t meant to seem weird at all. And regardless, sometimes people say crazy things when they’re mourning anyway, so in either case, she gets a pass.

    But do we have to get mean about it?? Stop insulting the author! She wasn’t being mean! Just honest!

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      This is perfect! Thank you!
      Such a tricky thing, you’re right. I have no idea what the answer is.

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  • Jenni Moore

    I think it’s important to remember that acting, singing, their characters on Glee were such a GIGANTIC part of their relationship. For people like Lea who lives and breathes her art, it makes total sense that she would grieve for Finn and playing across from him. If we were all so emotionally invested in it, I can only imagine that she was as well.

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