Today’s biggest mystery is not why Bruce and Kris Jenner broke up or what Kanye West will say and/or rant on Jimmy Kimmel’s show tonight, but rather why in the world Bruce Willis is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Based on his IMDb page, he doesn’t have a movie coming out that he needs to promote. To be fair, neither did Tina Fey when she hosted the series premiere two weeks ago, but she’s TINA FEY. She gets a pass because she’s brilliant and also an SNL alum. Maybe if Bruce put any effort into these promos for the new episode I could give him a pass, too. But unfortunately it looks like even he doesn’t know why he’s there.
Bruce is paired up with Cecily Strong for her first promo appearance. Unfortunately it looks like the show saddled the newbie with the difficult task of making the audience laugh despite Bruce Willis’ complete lack of effort. I couldn’t help but be reminded, as I watched this incredibly awkward two and a half minutes, of the 2011 Oscars. You know, the ceremony hosted by a manic bundle of energy named Anne Hathaway and a guy who didn’t want to be there named James Franco. Cecily does such an enormous percentage of the work in this video that she might as well have just put on a bald cap and played Bruce herself, using Parent Trap technology to splice the real Cecily and the Bruce-Cecily together.
If this is a sign of Bruce’s hosting abilities, there better be whole lot of Kate McKinnon doing funny accents, because things look bleak. If, however, you enjoy terrible Die Hard puns, unnecessary harmonica-playing and awkward embraces, you’re in for a real treat. I never thought I’d be saying this a week ago, but can we have Miley Cyrus back, please?