Once upon a time there lived a girl named Zooey DeschanelÂ who had such a beautiful face that photo editors across this great world of ours gathered from far and wide to…Photoshop the crap out of it. Like, they really can’t get enough of it. It’s like a Photoshopaholic (like that word? I just invented it) wet dream.
Because the thing about Zooey’s face (I assume) is that it’s the best sort of face for putzing with. She has the kind of smooth, unblemished features that can blend into each other like a dream, and as long as you keep your bangs the same, she’s still recognizable as that quirky little wallflower we’ve come to know and love. You don’t have any of those pesky bone structure things to work around — you can just replace anything recognizable on her face with long ageless planes of color and shading until you have the two-dimensional equivalent of an adorkable mannequin. What a joy!
Case in point, Zooey appears on the cover of the November 2013 issue of Marie Claire UK looking like a gloriously neutralized, beautifully nondescript version of herself, or someone who looks vaguely like her with the same bangs. (See above.) It’s really quite magical. There are more photos here, but I particularly like the one above, because they’ve managed to remove every mark on her face signifying that it is capable of movement, while also washing her out, caking her in makeup, giving her a sedative, and pointing her eyes in different directions. Behold the power of one photo editor determined to turn his or her subject into a sex doll.
It’s a beautiful(ly Photoshopped) world.
(Image: Tesh for Marie Claire UK)